Sears, Swimsuits, Skates and Soap

I got my FOURTH swim suit in the mail.

The top squashed me and the bottom hung off my butt like a wet diaper.

Gross.

But, I figured out that you can return Lands End at Sears, so I made a trip to the mall and have already ordered suit number FIVE.

This time I am going with a full on swim legging and a tankini from Swimsuits for All that has great reviews and will better "suit" me and I was able to order separate sizes for my freakishly large top and my extra flat and flabby south end.

We'll see how it goes.

Speaking of Sears, have you been lately?

You know, "Where America Shops For Value"...

Well, let me just tell you, America has ditched Sears and comfortably settled in at Walmart 

"Where America Shops For Cheap Shit Made In China".

Going into Sears now is like entering some post apocalyptic time warp.

It's no longer the mesmerizing bustling, brightly lit place that held everything new and shiny with the enticing smell of new tires, polyester and roasting peanuts.

Now it just smells.

Like sadness.

And Chapter 11.

Do you remember the Wish Book?

Do you remember how exciting it was the day it arrived and how you were glued to it for the rest of the month an no matter who's house you went to, everyone had "The Book" and the pages would be dog eared and ripped out, and folded over and the really good stuff would be circled with red marker and every single thing on every single page would be discussed at length with your friends while you laid on the floor comparing who already had what and how it rated and who needed what to keep up with the ones that already had what everyone else wanted?

My weakness was always roller skates and Barbies.

I started out with these and skated in the garage and on the street with the neighbor kids.

Then we moved to an Island in the middle of no where into a tent so my mother could "find herself" but luckily there was still catalog service, so I got these super cool "skate shoes" and we skated at the new fair building in town on weekends.

blue and green upper right

Shortly after my mom "found herself" came the divorce.
My father moved away and decided the best way to establish a sense of security was to buy me stuff (and let me eat sugar cereal), so I was quickly upgraded to these beauty's...

All leather uppers, with sure grip interchangeable indoor/outdoor wheels so I could skate at the park or at the rink on weekends in the city with my dad.

And every Saturday we would go to Sears and I would look at all the skates and skate accessories while my dad looked at lawn mowers, tools and tires.

Sorry, I got a little lost in roller skate nostalgia.

Maybe more than a little since now I can smell the smell of a new set of wheels and hear Hells Bells playing in my head with images of strobe lights at midnight during reverse skate...

What was I saying...?

Something about swim suits and Sears.

Oh well, that's all I have to say about that.

Let's talk about this...

I've lost 18 pounds!

Since I'm not baking, I'm making soap.

This is oatmeal and honey made with finely ground whole grain oats and local organic blackberry honey, poured in a wooden two pound mold so the bars are huge, almost six ounces each and they smell, delicious.

Like breakfast.

Or cookies.

Mostly cookies.

Ok, I'm done.