Happy New Year Everyone!

See you in a few more days.

Christmas Time Is Here

Ok everybody....This is it.

Mike drove to get my Sister and her boys in Seattle today as they were unable to get here any other way due to weather.

They will be here in an hour or so and then it's off to the holiday races for us!

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas!!

Peace, joy, happiness and plenty of good food : )

Close Call

Mike hauls grocery's for Safeway.

He has always driven truck.

He started out driving log truck many years ago and now works for a company that offers good retirement and benefits.

He is the best truck driver in the whole world.

Seriously, he is.

Thursady night he left the yard around midnight and headed to Central Oregon in this terrible weather, but he is smart and safety minded, so I don't worry to much about him.

The only trouble he has is when other drivers don't bother to use the brains Jesus so generously gave them.

Like Friday morning.

He was driving down a two lane highway in blizzard like conditions just as it was turnung daylight.

He looked in his rear view mirror to see a small truck passing him half way up the length of his trailer.

He looked forward just in time to see another semi coming straight at them from the opposite direction.

Mike took one ditch and the other semi driver took the other ditch as the truck in the middle slammed on his brakes and went careening between them and down an embankment.

If it hadn't been for split second thinking on behalf of Mike and the other semi driver all three of them would have likely been dead.

The other driver called 911 as Mike ran down the embankment to help the man who had tried to pass. As he was helping him out of his beaten and battered pick-up, Mike asked the guy what the hell was he thinking.

His response.....

He couldn't see, so he thought it was safe to pass.

u n b e l i e v a b l e

Good Bye Port Charles....

Your not gonna believe this.

We don't get ABC anymore.

ABC and Dish Network couldn't come to an agreement cost wise, so we no longer get the network.

I am not even kidding.

Do you know what this means?

I can't watch my stories, that's what it means.

This is beyond an outrage, I'm an American citizen deprived of my right to watch daytime television and I don't even have a job!

Between the hours of 1:00 and 3:00pm yesterday one of the things I did to occupy my time was to make a batch of trailerpark toffee.

It's sort of like the prissy "english toffee" my sister makes, but not really.

You lay out a cookie sheet of saltines and pour the butter and brown sugar mix over them with some melted chocolate chips spread on top. Cool it in the garage for a few hours and WaLa... trailerpark toffee!

It's pretty tasty.

It snowed on and off all day yesterday with another "arctic front" forcasted for tomorrow.

Mike had another layover last night and should be home late tonight.

No news from Texas which is good news in Oregon.

Ciao'

He Said She Said

Well, it seems as though the "arctic front" has blown over. We have temperatures in the 30's again and everything is slowly thawing out.

That's all fine and well with me, although I didn't really mind the snow.

My sister from Montana arrived in Seattle today and after spending the weekend up there she and her boys will be here for the holiday. Her husband flys in Afghanistan and won't be able to make it home for Christmas this year. I'm sure it will be hard for her boys, but being entertained by crazy Aunt Marilyn and the critters hopefully won't be to bad.

It has been our (mike and I) mission this year to get Jack, Wyatt's Dad here for Christmas. He lives in Texas and is a real jerk-off, non child support paying, drunk'n, smokin', yellow eyed, foul mouthed jack-ass, but he is Wyatt's Dad and he hasn't seen him in over four years.

So, we invited him for the holiday.

Everything was all systems go until he called on Monday and said "they" would be leaving Friday.

"They" I said...

"We" he said.

Who is "we" I said.

His neighbor he said.

He's "golden" he said.

I said, I don't give a #*@%

Guests can't bring guests I said, especially not at Christmas.

He started crying and said he was calling Mike.

Go ahead I said.

He did.

Mike said what I said.

I don't think Jacks coming for Christmas.

This is a picture of Jack on our Last Christmas morning together in 2001.

Need I say more...

Do I really want to wake up to that again?

I think not.

We had the child's best interest at heart, but what the child doesn't know won't hurt him.

Mike has been working quite a bit this week thank Gawd.

We have to pay for that new m'r-f'n bulb for the t.v.

Turns out the life span of the bulb is calculated at four hours use per day.

Whatever, that t.v has been on pretty much fourteen plus hours a day since the day we got it.

I'm like a junkie on the crack when it comes to a 65' t.v. and now I have to cut back and watch all the unimportant stuff like infomercials and the news on regular t.v and save the big one for the good stuff like SpongeBob and soap operas.

I kind of feel bad when he's out working and I'm home watching t.v and eating snacks on the couch, but it times like that I just need to remember.....

If Mamma's happy, everybodys happy!

Holiday Misconception

My friend Becky thought Parson Brown was a color.

Brrrrrd Feeder

Brrrrr....

Well, it looks like Christmas vacation started early for Wyatt.
He was home the last three days of last week and it doesn't look to promising for the rest of this week because of weather.

That's fine, gives me someone to watch my daytime stories with.

GET THIS!

I went to turn on the t.v today and NO t.v.

The lamp burned out.

The t.v was purchased a year ago TODAY.

ARRGGH.

Oh, by the way... a new lamp is twohundredfreakingdollars.

Whatever.

Mike worked a layover last night and I have cold pork in the yard.

Pearls heat lamp burned out---I see some sort of weird cosmic connection with burned out bulbs here--- last night but she has lots of straw in her house, so she's just chilled not froze.

She's not crazy about the snow, It makes her toes cold.

Imagine if you will a very small large pig tip-toeing through the snow...

Anyway, Mike will be home before her bedtime and have her boudoir nice and toasty tonight.

Today is my niece's TWENTY FIRST birthday!

Happy Birthday Fahren : ) 

XoxoxoX

Do you know that when I was twenty one I had already been married and divorced twice and had a five year old.

Good Lord.

Let It Snow!

Exciting Story...

It was a dark and stormy night. The wind was blowing through the trees like a toothless blind date at a bogo before the early bird special.

I could feel someone watching me as I moved slowly across the dew dampened yard. I had to step lightly so as not to leave a trail. My size nines left a heavy impression in the stiff white grass, but if I wasn't careful I might as well have been leaving a path of lucky charms for that little leprechaun. 

By leprechaun, I don't mean he was Irish, I mean he was short with bad hair and a funny hat.

What led up to this you ask? Well, let me tell you a story.

A story you won't soon forget. Oh, you'll want to forget it alright, who wouldn't? The question is more who couldn't and that, that my dear friend would be me.

I'm the one who couldn't forget. Not even if I wanted to.

Sit back and let me tell you how it happened.

It was a dark and stormy night. The wind was blowing like a gust from the north up your Aunt Bertha's skirt. Oh, it wasn't pretty. It wasn't pretty at all.

It was as though someone was watching my every move as I sprinted across the driveway being careful not to trip over the neighbor child's entrapment's left laying about.

I never did care for that red headed pest as he always left pastries and toys in my path.

It didn't seem to matter how many times I confronted his mother, she never showed more concern than a drunken Irish Betty, and it wasn't just because her name was Betty. It was because she was short with bad hair and was usually drunk.

This story is starting to leave me squeamish, and I don't know if it's wise to continue this tale, so as the sky grows dark and the wind picks up, I think that it's best if I go. 

I'm sensing that someone is watching...

No News

Ok, so when my Sister, the one who turned forty six yesterday said to me, "you know, I don't really care for the way the blog looks. It isn't really you."
I realized it had been quite some time since I've been here.
That and the few concerned readers checking in on me (thank you few concerned readers.)

So I decided to do some Christmas decorating and say "hi" today.

You see, what happens is, nothing happens, I have nothing to report and I end up not even checking in.
Just like right now the only exciting thing I have to report is that I haven't been reporting.

Wendy and I are still not speaking.
Things have been slow for Mike at work, so he's home ALL the time and as you all know, he sucks the concentration and creativity out of me (in a loving drive you crazy suck the concentration and creativity out of you sort of way)
Wyatt was home most of the week with a pooping problem constipation. What is it with kids and dogs and constipation at our house? Is Wyatt sneaking kibble or do the dogs raid the fridge?
We put the tree up and decorated the house.
One sister stepped closer to fifty and the other one is battling frozen tundra in Montana.
We have DVR'd every Christmas special known to man.
Did you catch the finale of Boston Legal? The B E S T.
We are gearing up for snow and "arctic" weather conditions tonight.
My Mom bought a new old armoire and sold a car.
I've been fighting reeeeeeealy bad headaces.

Thats it.
My life.
You haven't missed much.

I'll make up something for my next post.
I Promise.

Budget Cuts

Since things are pretty tight around the TrailerParks farm this time of year, we decided one way we could save some cash would be some DIY canine care.

Just a reminder, we have three shih-tzu's and a border collie.

We have a very nice groomer in town who has always done a delightful job with the boys, we just figured...how hard could it be.
All I can say is this...
There will be NO trips to town for Gizmo for at LEAST three months.
Not even dark glasses and a hat would improve his look.

If we had a heart, we would take him in for a do-over at the dog parlor, but I'm to ashamed and also fearful that we would be turned in to some sort of secret government dog agency.
I'm picturing a kennel in the basement of our local court house overrun with dogs with bad haircuts and gingivitis.
A kindly woman who smells like bologna telling all the misfit dogs it doesn't matter what they look like on the outside, it's who they are on the inside that counts.

So, the following is a Public Service Announcement.
Support your local dog groomer.