Hmm...

Maybe I should have told everyone I'm not posting here anymore.

Not for awhile anyway.

I am posting here every day though.

See ya there :)

I am never getting married again...

And here are some reasons why.

Click here

The rest of the story...

As some of you may or may not know, #6 is out.

My sister was here from Montana last week to close out my Grandfathers estate. Because it was time to settle the bank accounts and Mike was going to be found out, when he picked her up from the airport he fessed up to her that he had been taking money from the estate account since March. He told her it was to pay for my medical bills from my shoulder surgery last fall. He told her that insurance wouldn't pay because it was the second time I had the procedure on that shoulder. He said that collection agents were calling and threatening to garnish his wages and he didn't want me to know.

Three days later, on Monday morning, my Mom came to the farm and they all three sat around me like they were either going to tell me there had been a death in the family or they were sending me to fat camp. Either way, from the look on their faces I knew the news was going to be bad.

As soon as the words were out, I knew it was a lie. I knew there were no medical bills, we have great insurance, and wouldn't I have had some idea. Looking at Mike, I knew there was more to the story, but he wasn't talking. At that point, my Mom and Sister were somewhat defending him and kept telling me not to be so "hard on him" and that we could get through this. I kept looking at him wanting to scream and punch him in the face. He was crying and saying how sorry he was, he said he did the only thing he could think of to take care of things and he never wanted to upset me. That made me want to punch him even more.

Wendy showed up about a half hour into things. She couldn't believe what was happening either, but suggested that if I didn't believe him to call the hospital and doctors office. You see, Mike told us he got rid of all the bills, didn't keep any receipts of payment and wrote the checks for cash or to himself so I wouldn't find out about the bills and "worry." So thats what I did. I made phone calls, only to find out what I had assumed was correct. All the bills had been paid in full by insurance. Mike had stolen the money.

It turned out that the last check he wrote himself was the morning he picked my sister up at the airport. He had cleaned out the entire account. The checks I wrote for October farm upkeep had all been returned. There was no money. He had also stolen from the new account I opened for the rental spaces, had been taking cash advances from our checking account, cleaned out our savings account and been regularly taking payday loans.

I know your thinking to yourself, where did the money go? We don't know. As far as we can figure out it went to Slurpees and chewing tobacco.

By the time we were getting to the bottom of this, my sister had gone to the attorney and Mike had taken two Lorazepams and gone to bed. I wanted to go beat him in the bed with a baseball bat, but decided to call the sheriff and have him arrested instead. The sheriffs office said they were in the middle of a transport, but would send a deputy out as soon as one was available. Lucky for Mike, my sister got home first and told me to call off the sheriff because if he were arrested the farm would never be paid back.

Mike is now living in the little house across the driveway from me. He cries all the time like a child who broke the neighbors window with his baseball.

I want to throw up every time I look at him.

I look around my house and see the things that were paid for with money stolen from my family. Wyatt cries because he thinks his toys are all "stolen," and I now refer to our new puppy as the "hot dog" because I don't believe that when when you mix stolen money with your own money there is a line of what is yours and what is not. I will never again go on blind faith that everything is "o.k" or believe someone because they assure me that I can.

I feel so stupid.

I feel so betrayed.

And that my friends, is the rest of the story.

Believe it or Not

So today is the fortieth anniversary of the moon walk.

Or is it?

Do you think man has really walked on the moon?

I don't.

I will tell you the reasons I don't believe it, but you can't argue with me because I'm not a good debater and so I'll tell you your right and I'll agree that you may have a point just to get you to quit trying to change my mind.

I'm that way about alot of things, I'm very non-confrontational.

Ask anybody who knows me, except my fourth and fifth husband.

So here's what I think.

If we walked on the moon once, how come we never went back?

How come nobody else has ever walked on the moon?

Doesn't it make you wonder?

How come we can get to the moon, land there, walk around, plant a flag, drive around and then take off again, but can't get to the bottom of the ocean, or even design a dish washer that you don't really have to pre-rinse for.

I like the whole idea, I like the story, I even like the boots.

I just don't believe it.

Fun on the Farm!

Quinn Cummings "Notes from the Underwire"

Ok, it's really still Thursday right now, but I am SO excited about this I thought I better prepare a day early and have it auto post while I'm sleeping so I can catch all the time zones tomorrow, which for you right now is really today...

There is also the possibility that I would have stayed up all night worrying about this post, then at four this morning fallen asleep during an infomercial and remembered later today sometime between the View and Oprah. That's just how I roll, it's all or nothing.

Ok, so without further ado, my questions answered...

I was thrilled beyond thrilled to be asked to ask you a thing or two,
so here goes.

Thrilled to be invited to answer, so we're even.

How long did it take you to write your book?

So many answers to that. It took me forty years of living, three years of blogging, one year of official writing and one year of working on rewrites.

How long have you been blogging?

I had to go check that. I started in February, 2005.

If given the opportunity, would you consider acting again?

I enjoyed the bit between "Action" and "Cut," but really didn't like the rest of it all that much. I can't imagine wanting to do something where the odds of getting a job were so small, what with me not being Megan Fox and all, and my feelings about the job were so compromised.

Is the I.V cat still alive?

Once I walked out of their house, we didn't exactly stay in touch, so I can't say with certainty, but since that was ten years ago and the cat was incredibly elderly then, I can't see how she's still around. Then again, these women loved her very much; maybe they sent her to Switzerland for monkey-gland injections, the way Keith Richards is rumored to do.

What is raita?

It's a side-dish from India. It's liquid yoghurt with, among other things, diced cucumber in it. It's makes a nice cooling note to spicier Indian foods. My kid loves it about 33% of the time.

These were just a few of what I considered to be "on topic" questions.

Then there were a few off topic questions...

What is your favorite Girl Scout cookie?

Trefoils, because shortbread makes me very happy.

Do you think the world will end in 2012?

Oh, I hope not. I just bought a large bottle of capers.

Which do you prefer, quality or quantity?

Great question. Quality is lost on me, because I'm a heathen. Quantity is lost on me because I end up feeling guilty if I have a lot of something because I start fixating on those who don't have any of whatever it is I have a plentitude of, but I have to pick one so I choose quality.

Where is your dream vacation destination?

It's quiet, it has a superb reading spot, it's cool rather than warm and I can get there without getting on a plane, because I'm one of those people who has to hold up the plane with her fingertips and her hyperventilating. And the people in the next room are mute. Beyond that, I'm not picky.

I want to thank Quinn for gracing the farm with her wit and charm today and adding a little class around the place. I feel so special and SO cool for being asked to take part in her blogging book tour. Be sure to pick up her new book "Notes from the Underwire" when you get a chance and maybe an extra copy for a friend. If you have friends like me, you know your better off buying another copy then loaning her yours because even if you do get it back, the pages will likely be stuck together with pot roast or pancake syrup.

Also remember you can get a fresh does of Quinn even after you've finished the book by logging into her blog, The QC Report.

Thanks again QC.

Peas Out.

Click here to purchase

iLucky

Don't forget, tomorrow is the BIG day, QnA with Quinn Cummings! If you haven't bought her book yet, swing by her blog and read some of her other blogging book tour interviews, you will LOVE her writing.

We spent almost the entire day yesterday fussing around with a new computer for #6. He has been wanting a laptop and yesterday was the day to make that happen. It only required three trips to town, two calls to Apple, one call to Verizon and countless hours of setting things up. I dare you to try setting up an airport wireless router and getting a connection any farther than twenty feet away. It just isn't possible. He ended up with a Verizon wireless plug in deal, but I think I'm going to call our local ISP today to get one of their routers.

If I said I wasn't jealous of Lucky's laptop I would be the biggest liar on the planet. He has iLife, Photoshop, and all the other cool stuff I don't have and he won't use. So I look at it and feel sorry for myself, pick it up and the funny thing is, it doesn't feel like home to me. So then I get back on mine where everything is just right and where it should be. I love my Mac, I feel like it's part of me. All my crazy ideas and friends live here and I know just how to get anywhere I want to go.

Thanks J.

Um, by the way... We got his new G4 iBook on Craigslist for 600.00 less than they sell for new. Talk about cutting a fat hog. I hate to profit off of someone else's misfortune, but I have to tell you, the best time to buy a Mac is obviously when the economy is in the toilet.

Today is back to business. Mike has a big shiny John Deere in the driveway on loan from the neighbor that he will use to cut the pastures today. I love the look and smell of a fresh cut field! The kids will be banned to the upstairs until their bedrooms are clean, which could mean I will be delivering food and refreshments for the better part of the day. I will be doing the normal stuff around the house that I am now officially one full day behind on. Oh well, the bigger the job, the bigger the satisfaction when it's done.

I just shaved my legs and my teeth are clean so I'm ready to take on the world!!!

* Speaking of taking on the world, Jack is due to arrive in Seattle from Alaska today. His first and my favorite ex informed me yesterday that he has intentions of taking Wyatt back to Texas with him. Please let me know if you have spotted any flying pigs lately, because I'll need to see some too before I let Wy go on a road trip with that idiot.

Breaking News!

Q&A with new author Quinn Cummings, "Notes from the Underwire" will be featured here on Friday!

Mark your calendars, you'll love her writing.

You still have time to run out and buy her book, or even Kindle it.

Underpants and iPods!

I wish I had a camera. Mine died a sand filled death after our last trip to the beach. I have the camera on my phone, but it just isn't the same.

I am wishing I had a camera this morning in particular because Pooter got his bi-yearly haircut yesterday and he looks like the biggest goober EVER. Sonja, his usual beauty operator was running the clippers, but her day must have taken a turn for the dark side sometime before turning them on Pooter. It's atrocious. I'm taking him back in for a do over when I go to the dentist this morning and I'm considering asking for the five dollar tip back as well.

Poor Pooter, I bet everyone in the barnyard is laughing at him, not to mention the two other dogs he lives with here in the house.

Quadrant cleaning at the dentist this morning. Doesn't even sound fun. I still stand firmly by my belief that I would rather go to the dentist than the lady parts doctor, I don't care if everyone surveyed disagreed with me. For all I know you are all just a bunch of closet exhibitionists who deep down inside are really secretly wishing you could wear your paper dresses home. Whatever, I don't hold that against you.

I do have to shave my legs for my appointment today though because I'm wearing short pants and sandals.

Speaking of short pants... Did I mention that I bought size 8 underpants last weekend? That's right, size eight! I was wearing a tight 10 but when it came to the point that I needed suspenders for them I broke down and bought new ones. Who knew how satisfying new underpants could be :)

Maddy got her new glasses yesterday and they look FABULOUS! One pair is purpleypink and the other is a wire rimmed pair. So stinkin cute. I wish I had a camera for that too.

After we picked up her glasses we went to the White Trash Warehouse (Wal-Mart) and got the kids each an iPod shuffle. They were SO excited! Now if I could just figure out how to run them.

Remember when you got your first WalkMan? The casette kind? How cool you thought it was. I thought I was really cool listening to Madona and Supertramp on mine.

If Wyatt were to see one now he'd think it was a door stop.

I have to go shave for the dentist now.

QC and Wii

Let me just say this, it was a GREAT weekend!

The kids had a great time even though the weather was crappy. We took them to Barnes and Noble earlier in the week so they both had good new reads to keep them busy and of course a movie or two. I not only had my great new Quinn Cummings book to read, but I also got a Wii Fit on Saturday that I LOVE!

Then, on Sunday you'll never believe what was in my email when I woke up...

An email from one of Quinn Cummings "people" asking if I wanted to participate in her blogging book tour!!!!

Can you even believe that?!

Her book was released on July seventh and I bought it very soon after that not even knowing who she was, I just saw the book and knew by the cover it was a must read. Then I found out she was a blogger and went to check that out, loved it, left a comment and then Sunday I got an email!

So I thought all day about the questions I wanted to ask her and they all sounded really dumb and cliche', but I sent them off anyway and then late last night I got an email from Quinn personally saying she was looking forward to her stop at my blog... That means she must not think I'm a TOTAL dork.

Anyway, she'll be here in a few days, so stay tuned here for more info and watch Facebook and Twitter for updates.

Today we go pick up Maddy's new glasses, she is SO excited. We went to Americas best and got the two for 69.00 that includes an eye exam. That is so cheap it almost scares me. Remember in the movie The Jerk when Naven invents the "Opti-Grab" and everyone starts wearing the glasses with the nose holder only to find out a year or so later the Opti-Grab makes you go cross eyed... Thats my fear about Americas Best two for 69.00 with a free eye exam. What if they're so cheap because the frames are made of asbestos and the people doing the eye exams are juvenile delinquents out on work release. I swear that nobody working there is over twenty five years old.

Oh well, fast and cheap, it's the American way.

I mean really, who want's to pay more AND wait longer?

So, my new Wii Fit.

If you don't already have one, get one.

Not only is it fun and interactive, but it really is a GREAT workout. I was so sore yesterday I hobbled around the house like an old woman, but it felt so good to have used muscles I forgot I even had. There's skiing, tennis, hulla hoop, bowling, yoga, aerobics, stretch, you name it. It is the best eighty nine of #6's dollars I have ever spent, and he will get to enjoy the return on his money as much as I will = )

I figure I can justify the 89.00 by the lack of Recees and Marlboros he would otherwise be buying me, it all works out in the wash.

So that about sums up our weekend, a good time was had by all!

July 10

I survived the dentist.

I didn't enjoy it, but I survived it and I didn't even really freak out.

I just kept telling myself that no matter how bad I thought the dentist was, hands down, without a doubt it was better than the lady parts doctor. When you go to the dentist you don't have to shave or wear a paper dress and it's only your mouth that's open for extended periods of time.

Also at the dentist, They can give you nitrous so you think that your really at studio 54 dancing with John Travolta in a stunning black strapless spandex number with stacked heals and a beaded headband.

Not only that, but when your at the dentist and your doctor says "numb" you don't feel the need to kick him in the face and run.

I have some work that needs to be done though, so settle into the dentist stories, theres going to be a few of them.

Shannon came over yesterday to aid in the construction of the bamboo sheet house. Between the three of them they came up with a flawless design concept able to withstand wind gusts of up to nearly 5 mph, provide adequate sleeping space for three and apparently ward off the boogie man, vampires and bugs because they stayed out the entire night. Wyatt and Maddy have both attempted on numerous occasions to have sleep outs on the deck, in the yard and even one night in the pumphouse without much success, but last night it was all systems go with no reported problems or excessive bathroom trips, and I didn't trip over any kids on the carpet on my way to the kitchen this morning.

We watched Mall Cop last night and I didn't think it was funny.

Does that make me a bad person?

July 9

I have to go to the dentist this morning. I hate the dentist. I am scared to death of the dentist. I cry at the dentist. But I have to go.

Today I'm just going in for a buff and polish, but they use that metal hooky scrapey thing and it FREAKS me out. Maybe I should have all my teeth pulled and I could just mail them in for a cleaning once or twice a year and soak them in a glass on the bathroom counter for maintenance at night.

I'm not kidding you, I find the dentist disturbing.

So, the cougar is gone. She and Bob got into it yesterday and she took off only to return later in the day to I assume collect her worldly possessions. From what I understand, she cried on the couch for an hour or so and then got in her Explorer and left for what we all hope will be for good. Bob seemed really ok with the whole situation, but of course he would, he's twenty-three years old.

Wendy and I still aren't speaking. There was a break in the storm for a day or so in May, but it was short lived.

I'm not going into it any more than that because when I do, it just gives new life to the pain and anger.

My advice... make sure you have at least two kids, that way if something happens to one ~like their head gets permanently stuck up their ass~ you still have a chance with another one.

Maddy and Wy are having a blast. Last night they built a bamboo fort and I've had the song "House of bamboo" stuck in my head ever since. It's made of sticks, sticks and bricks, you can get your kicks, in the house of bamboo!

There, now it's stuck in your head too :)

I'll post a photo of it later.

What's up with the autopsy saying MJ didn't have any hair?

July 8

Wow!

We saw Transformers 2 yesterday and it was GREAT!!!

I loved every overly action packed minute of it (except for the couple times I fell asleep~That's just what I do during a movie) If you like the first one, the second one will rock your world. All robots, all the time!

I haven't been to a movie since Pirates of the Caribbean 1 and it turns out the prices have gone up a bit. That was kind of a sting and because of it, I don't think I'll be going back to the cinema anytime soon, but it was worth it to see Optimus Prime on the big screen

Lets talk about cougars.

The new neighbors in the little house are a father and son duo that work with Mike at Safeway. Very nice people, very nice family. The kid, we'll call him "Bob" is dating an older woman, we'll call her..."Crystal" (I consulted Google for a good stripper name.) Bob is twenty-three and Crystal is f o r t y o n e. Just to add to the omg'ness of this story, I will throw in that fact I am forty-one and my daughter is twenty-five. Now, Crystal does have a rockin hard bod, but she is totally soft in the head, doesn't have a job OR custody of her children and is a recovering meth addict. Bob, is all but scared of her and claims that she won't leave him alone even though he has supposedly tried repeatedly to break up with her. I don't know her side of the story because I don't like her and have been very, shall we say , short with her all of the few times we have met in the driveway. So, if this business is true that Bob really is not wanting the attention of this woman, how does he rid himself of a hungry stalking cougar?

Lets just open up the conversation on this one in the comment section.

So far, the only thing new around here today is that my kitchen smells like the beach at low tide. I cooked oysters for dinner last night and the aroma still lingers.

A Quick Catch Up, July 7

The following post is dedicated to JDM.

Told ya, duh....

Here's what I have learned.

Facebook feels good in the moment, but it isn't there for you when you go back a month later to remember the cute thing your kid said or relive the rip your head off moment you were feeling when you had the big scene with the neighbors.

I swung by the blog last night to sign in so I could leave a comment for a blogger who's book I just purchased, (Notes from the underwire, by Quinn Cummings. Buy it, you'll LOVE it) and realized that I had no life to reflect back on, no pictures to flash back with, since April.

But when I started re-reading my posts from April everything was so clear and I remembered things I didn't even realize I had forgotten.

So here I am.

Back to tell you, or maybe really myself whats going on in my world!

Jack.

Jack left to go fishing in Alaska after two "fun" filled weeks at our house. Wyatt and I suffered through every minute at Mikes insistence that he stay because after all, he is 'Wyatt's Dad."

Whatever, it was a loooooong visit, and one I don't care to experience again anytime soon.

He is supposed to be done with fishing sometime during the teens of June, so stay tuned.

Since the end of April, I have quit eating all refined sugar, drinking any caffeine and as of 13 days ago, QUIT SMOKING!

Who knew how much my life would change. I did it for health reasons because I felt like I had a permanent brain fog thing going on and I was always tired. I was pretty sure it was from the two or three candy bars I ate everyday followed by a side of cookies, doughnuts, ice cream and pastrys and topped off with a bottle or two of Dr. Pepper or Mt Dew.

So, I quit the sugar. I felt fantastic. I started reading books about my new endeavor, because rather you know it or not, just about everything has sugar in it. By the way, I still eat natural sugar and carbs.

That's when I learned caffeine fires off a rush to your body that you body reacts to the same as sugar. So I figured I would quit caffeine too.

That was hard.

I felt sick and don't ask my husband, because he doesn't like to talk about that week, but I think I might have been a little testy or maybe even irritable that week.

Here's the magic though.

One day I woke up and I felt great.

I woke up and felt awake.

I had no headache, no groggy fuzzy sleepy feeling.

I felt awake all day.

I never felt like I needed some kind of mid day pick me up to get me through the rest of my day.

I felt that way all day and I have felt that way ever since.

Smoking.

I had to have a tooth pulled because I'm to cheap to pay for a root canal and it was a back tooth that I didn't really feel I used that much anyway.

* Do not lecture me on this, I hear enough from my family thank you very much.*

Anywho, the dentist told me not to smoke because it may cause "dry socket" so I told him I would just quit.

And I did.

I quit that day.

That was 13 days ago.

I am a semi toothless non smoker!

As of today, I have lost 33 pounds.

Wyatt finished the fourth grade and is enjoying the summer here on the farm with his step sister Maddy.

They have planted flowers, painted somewhere in the neighborhood of 110 terra cotta flower pots, turned our pumphouse into an art studio/cat house (for Pat the cat who now enjoys some pretty luxurious digs) and swam everyday.

It is good to be a ten year old in the summertime.

Mike, after a looooooong slow winter of practically no work, is now working his ass off and it seems like we never see him anymore.

If he's not working, he's sleeping.

The money is good, but the lawn needs to be mowed.

So, theres my start.

I'm back in the blog saddle again shall we say.

Thank you Quinn Cummings, you've helped me remember my life.

I think....

I'm going to try to get back to blogging.

Starting tomorrow.

Where I've been

Ok, to say I have been lacking in the blog department would be an understatement....

I have been to busy fussing around this spring to get any thing of value out for you to read, but what I have been keeping up with is.... Facebook.

It is quick, personal, interactive and I love it.

So, if your not already signed up, take a minute and do so. If you are, take a minute and find me there.

Just search "The Parks Farm" and I'll see you soon!

Peas Out!

Happy Mothers Day!

To my Mom.

To my Sisters.

To my friends.

To every Mother.

Enjoy your day : )

Hold your horses!

NONONONONONONO!!
It's not my Birthday, I just liked the picture :)
In case your marking dates on your calendar though, my Birthday is the 28th of this month!

With any luck, this will be me in fifty nine years!

SURPRISE

Ok, here I am!

You will NEVER believe this.

Last night about 9:30 I was on the computer working on a new web site when a car pulled in the driveway.

Now we live out in the country down a gated driveway and don't know very many people, so my mind raced as to who it could be.

I hollered out to Mike who was in the living room watching t.v to go check and see who was here.

I walked into the hall and thats when I heard it.

The slow drunken Texas drawl that I hear in my nightmares.

It was him.

My fourth and fifth husband and Father of my beloved son... It was JACK!

I almost passed out and almost peed my pants all at the same time, but I knew I had to get to Wyatt before his Dad caught him by surprise too.

Wyatt did really for real almost pass out when he saw Jack standing in the hall.

His eyes rolled back to the inside of his head and his knees gave out underneath him.

We both just stood there shaking, sick to our stomach.

Anyway, he's here on his way to Alaska where he supposedly will spend the summer fishing.

Whatever.

He's leaving tomorrow.

All I know is there's a little village somewhere in Texas that right now is missing their idiot.

Unfortunately, their idiot is at MY house.

Happy Easter

Well the Easter Bunny came to our house, but I think he must have been sporting his "fowl" weather gear!
It is rainy, cold and windy here on the farm today, not feeling like Spring as much as it was a few days ago.
Wyatt still made a pretty good Easter haul though with the new Pokemon Platinum game, a basket full of candy and an egg hunt in the house.
My Mom will be here for dinner in an hour or so and then Mike will be going to work later this evening.
So, here's some Easter pic's for your viewing enjoyment!

Favor?

Can someone with photoshop do me a huge favor and create a seamless tile for me???

Thanking you kindly in advance :)

Amazing

I created an alter ego so I could follow Missy twice.

I forgot to sign out and have been commenting all over this morning as "Ginger."

So, if "Ginger" Commented on your blog today don't think it was some hot stranger, it was just me :)

BREAKING NEWS

We got a phone call a little bit ago.

It was Wyatt's Friend Leeann.

She said Maisy (the dog we rehomed last month) was at her house.

Her Mom was driving last night and saw a dog on the road and slowed down to make sure it was ok.

Traffic built up behind her and she figured the dog must live nearby and just got out of the yard and continued home.

This morning they woke up and the dog was at their house.

Leann said "that's Maisy!"

When they called it all sounded to crazy to be true, Maisy was living at least twelve miles from here.

How could she be all the way out here.

Leann's Mom said the dogs feet were sore and she was tired, but other than that she was ok .

Could it be?

Sheila loaded the dog in her car and headed over.

She pulled in the driveway and MAISY jumped out the unrolled window, rubbed up all over us and ran straight for the front door!

Amazing Maisy.

When Sheila stopped on the road, her car must have smelled familiar to Maisy and she followed the scent to their house figuring they were smart enough to get her the rest of the way home.

Right now, Maisy has a full belly and is curled up asleep at my feet and if it's true that everyone has a place in this world, I guess Maisy has shown us that her place is with us :)

Spring!

Our Maddy Daddy week was a huge success!

It's hard to believe how fast these kids grow up and how fast they change.

It seems like Maddy has gone from being a little girl to a young lady in seconds flat,

while Wyatt is still a goofy blabbering boy.

Mike finished the bathroom this week and it is FABULOUS!

This was his first "remodeling" job and he took it from a bathroom in peril to a shiny new room.

I am so proud of him :)

Spring has finally come to the farm! The trees are in bloom and the sun is shinning. It is going to be in the high 70's today and I couldn't be happier.

So, I am going outside to enjoy the day now.

We moved the baby ducks from the brooding room to the big coop yesterday and I need to go check them.

The donkeys are losing their winter coat and need a good brushing.

Pearl will want to tag along and inspect things on the outside of the barnyard.

life is good :)

Hmmmmm.....

Yesterday I made and passed along a lovely award about angels singing to my good friend Venom.
Today she gave me this...



Am I the only one sensing hostility?

Special Award

This award is for one of my favorite bloggers.

Venom at VSL.

There are no rules, only love.

Like Apples and Oranges

Ok, so my two child week is set to begin!
Mike is on his way south with two kids in tow, one of mine and one of his.
Wyatt and Maddy are the same age and get along great, the only difference is one is an over communicator and one is the shy quiet type.

I have a hard time relating to the shy quiet type.
I have never had one of those, nor have I spent much time around any of them.
All of the kids in our family are budding used car salesmen or politicians, very wordy and gregarious.
So given a shy quiet type is like spending time in a foreign country where I don't speak the language.

Example.
When Mike tangled with the 2x6 last week Wyatt spent the night at a friends house.
He was served white beans and rice (?) for dinner.
We are without a doubt Wonder Bread and Hamburger Helper folk so the idea of beans as a main course struck my Wyatt as not only unappetizing but extremely odd.
When I asked him how he handled the situation without coming across as rude he told me the following.
" I simply told "Mem" (the other Mother) how delicious the meal looked but that I was just to full to really enjoy it, but I would love it if she would copy the recipe for you to make at home some time."

You make the call, politician or car salesman?

That's just how Wyatt rolls, very wordy and bordering on Eddie Haskell.
"My Mrs Cleaver, your hair looks lovely today and I must say those are striking pearls your wearing."



So you can see what a dramatic change it is for me to only get "uh huh" and "I don't know" in reply to my inquiries.

Maybe Maddy is just a bit overwhelmed by our wordiness and tendency to break into song.

Anywho, it should be a fun week even it poor Maddy will have to follow it up with some intense therapy upon her arrival home!

Friday Update

Well, Mike is up and moving around again, yesterday he mudded the bathroom and mowed the lawn.

For him, that's taking it easy.

I have been busy making rugs out of sheet and have another in the works for today.

I am selling the rugs on Etsy so I check out the other crocheted rag rugs daily and there is one for sale there that looks like it was done as a first grade class project and the price is 3,700.00.

Can you believe that!

I think mine are priced pretty fair at around 20.00.

Wyatt has been home on break this week and you know how I love a kid at home.

I really wish I could home school, but as I've said before, I think we would major in Sponge Bob and minor in movies.

My iSpouse and nephew are coming tomorrow and I am so excited to see them!

iSpouse sold a self loader and is delivering it somewhere south of here so they will spend the night Saturday and then Mike will drive them back north to catch the ferry home on Sunday.

While Mike is up there, he will pick up his Daughter and bring her down for her spring break.

Wyatt has said she can go to school with him a few days but that she will need to do all the work to really get the full "experience" of attending a new school.

I don't know where he comes up with this stuff.

Then, next weekend iSpouse's wife and my niece will be here looking at schools here in Portland!

They will stay over night on Saturday and then Take Maddy (Mike's daughter) home on Sunday.

I love it when a plan comes together :)

I'm Baaaaaack

Well kids it's been an eventful few days here around the TrailerParks farm.

When we left off I had just had my hair cut by local resident expert Mik'el.

He did a bang up job and I love it.

Thank you for all your kind comments.

I wish he would have stuck with cutting hair though as on Sunday he found himself in quite a dangerous predicament with a table saw.

As you know he is remodeling our little bathroom (due to the great toilet flood of 09) and things were going along just swimmingly until he went to cut some shims for the drop ceiling over the new shower.

That's when I heard it.

A very loud "ugh" followed very quickly by a muffled "frumph."

I shouted out to the garage to see if he was ok.

He said no.

I couldn't go to him though because we have an understanding that I don't "do" blood, so if there was an appendage on the floor, the rules clearly state I will not engage.

The last thing I clearly heard was Mike mumbling, "no blood."

By the time I got to the door, he had made it in the house and passed out on the floor so I had to wait until he came to to find out what had happened.

He told me the table saw bucked a 2x6 back at him and it hit him straight center in the gut.

I didn't know what to do so I called my sister Julie in Friday Harbor.

She said without looking at it she couldn't really advise me what to do but I should call 911.

Mike didn't want me to call 911 so I helped him to a chair and snapped off a quick picture to show my Sister via iChat so she could better advise.

That's when Mike passed out again.

My sister said to CALL 911.

I did.

911 took him to the hospital and then that hospital transferred him to the Trauma unit at the BIG hospital in Portland.

Scary.

Internal bleeding kinda stuff.

So, two days in the hospital and now he's home and I think he's going to live!

I guess bad things happen in three's because while Mike was recovering in the hospital we lost our little dog Gizmo.

He has been very "not" Gizmo for the last few days so my Mom offered to take him to the Vet.

His veins were badly compromised and he wasn't getting the oxygen or blood supply he needed.

My Mom held him in her arms while he closed his eyes and went to live with doggy Jesus.

We will miss him so much.

Gizmo was a used dog who came to live with us three years ago.

We knew he was an old dog but we also knew that he would enjoy living out his golden years

here on the farm.

We will miss you Gizmo, may the streets in Heaven be paved with treats.

I don't know what number three is yet.

With any luck the bad things will stop at two.

OH!

Wendy came over yesterday and we had a fantastic visit.

I guess I'm just mad at her and that I really do still love her ;)

Just for the record though, I still think her boyfriend is a blood sucking psychopath.

After

Ok, so here's a picture of the new do.

Mind you it's housekeeping hair because I wasn't going to get all dolled up and give you any false impression.

Please note the glasses as they are the same ones featured in the header.

Just so you know the lady in the header isn't really me.

I looked and can't find a before picture and I figure that's because I am the one always taking the pictures.

Picture this picture plus ten".

News!

Ok, first, yesterday I found out from kristina that I WON a prize from her blog stimulus giveaway!!

I received a 20.00 gift card for Messes and Mudpies! Can you believe it!!!

I am SO excited and I will be sure to share my spoils with you.

I love handmade soaps :)

Then.... Wyatt comes in the door after school yesterday lugging a box almost as big as him.

It's from my BBF Mammahut, and it's FULL of sheet!

I knew she was sending some bear sheet (or antelope or moose) but imagine my surprise at a whole big box of sheet :)

I cant wait to get started!

Then... the pizza resistance!

I cut ALL my hair off last night!

Well, really Mike did, but still.

We found the orange handled scissors and headed for the kitchen.

In the trailer park we call that kitchen cosmetology :)

TEN inches off with just a few whacks and it looks great!

I feel ten years younger and three pounds thinner.

So as you can see it was an exciting day here yesterday.

Today my niece comes home from India where she has been for the last month or so on a school trip.

Even though I don't get to see her very often, I missed her while she was gone.

Maybe she'll have some good Indian stories to tell me :)

Welcome home Ingrid!!!

XooX, YFAM

Ok, I'm done.

Following Up the Follow Up

Ok so where was I...

Friday the pipes broke and Mike and Wyatt got the jackhammer, the lawn mower and the baby ducks.

They fixed the pipes, turned the lawnmower into a WT quad and the ducks took up housekeeping in the tractor trailer in the garage where the Cadillac used to be.

Saturday night the toilet in the little bathroom gave up the fight and leaked water from it's tank all night as we slept and I awoke to the river Kwai running from the bathroom down the hall into the utility room and forming lakes under the washer and dryer!

Good times :)

So the first part of the morning was spent cleaning up the mess and the second part of the day Mike spent demolishing the entire bathroom.

You see the little bathroom has had "issues" for many years.

We just had no idea the size of those issues.

HUGE issues.

Not just the floor, but as Mike got farther into it he discovered that the shower had "issues" too.

This is our little bathroom today...

That used to be a tiled in shower.

Now we need to go to town to find a new shower insert and some flooring so Mike can put it all back together again :)

So, to sum things up.

The pump and pipes are fixed.

The white trash quad has a new battery and is up and running.

The little bathroom is in transition (the DIY shows make it look easy)

The baby ducks ~Indian Runners~ are very cute, here's a picture of what they look like now and what they will look like when they're grown...

Now...


Later...
That's it for now, we have to go see a man about a toilet.

Have a great day!

Follow Up

Ok, so they went to town and got the jackhammer (and ducks) and then jackhammered up all the concrete in the pumphouse until they got to where the line was bad.

Then they went back to town to return the jackhammer and get the parts needed to repair the line.

Then on the way home from town they stopped to get the white trash quad from the neighbors, but it had a dead battery so they had to hook up a chain and tow it home through the pasture!

I swear I was laughing so hard I could hardly take the pictures :)

Just another day here on the TrailerParks Farm!

***UPDATE***

They came back from town with a jackhammer and these...

Uh Oh H20

This morning when everything was quiet I was in the little bathroom and I heard water running.

Then I remembered that yesterday morning when the house was quiet and I was in the little bathroom I heard water running and I even went upstairs to investigate but found nothing and then forgot to tell Lucky #6 about the noise.

So this morning when Lucky woke from his slumber I remembered to mention the tranquil sounds of running water.

Hmmm....

The peaceful sound was not coming from inside the house.

The tranquil noise was not coming from any outside faucets.

The hideous sound was coming from the pump house where the M'r F'n pipe had burst in the concrete.

So, Lucky and Wyatt just set off for town to rent a jack hammer and buy new pipe.

And don't think for one minute that this is a burden that Mike will bear alone.

Oh no my friend, I will share in the suffrage by not being able to wash the dishes or do the laundry today.

The sacrifices one must make..

The timing of the busted water line could not have been better though considering Mike is almost finished with the deck project.

The only other project we have in the works is turning the old riding lawn mower into a white trash quad for Wyatt.

Mike is going to take off the mower deck and throw an old orange bicycle flag on it and call er' good.

Wyatt is excited beyond words.

He really thinks he's the luckiest boy in the world :)

Boy, I'm glad the water pipe sprung a leak, this blog has been pretty "dry" lately.

Get it?

Dry?

Still Nothin...

So here's todays Pooter and Pearl : )

Barely Worth A Click

I know, this is SO lame.
I have NOT been in the mood for blogging.
I'm still not.
Trust me though, your not missing out on anything.
If anything exciting happens, you'll be the first to know.

Heres a picture of Pooter before his haircut.

Friends

Wyatt and Pearl sharing a moment

For Fahren

The rain was falling as I made my way through the darkened streets.

The night was quiet and the only sound I could hear were the raindrops hitting the pavement and the humming of my heart as it raced like a hamster in a wheel.

I knew I had been to this place before, but when? Maybe as a child, or maybe in another lifetime, it was hard to say.

If only I could see a familiar face, a familiar sign so I could stop running.

I needed to find a safe place to rest and make a plan. Ahead in the distance I could see what appeared to be a welcoming beacon.

A neon sign flashing "24 Hours."

As I made my way inside the building, I saw the children, there were many of them all standing together, but the look on their faces was the same as that of their parents, cold and dissaproving

Hollowed eyes that bore into me so deeply I could feel the void that was left in my soul as they stared.

The smell in the air lingered like drugstore perfume.

It didn't matter which way I turned, I couldn't escape the cheap smell of my own Grandmother.

The more I began to panic, the more of that familiar smell I inhaled deep into my lungs, and it burned.

I began to call out to them. I called out to anyone who would answer my plea for help and direction.

Which way should I go and who would help me.

As it turned out, it was security who helped me.

They were also very quick to point out that I shouldn't be shopping at Walgreens after Happy Hour.

The End

Dinner Time!

Twilight Pearl

TIFFANY...Your rugs done!

From a pile of thrift store sheets.To stripped and sewn

To crocheted with a big blue hook


To a finished rug for Tiffany!

Send me your address Tiffany, theres a rug on the way :)

Week In Review

Well it's been a busy week here on the Trailer Parks Farm!

Mike has been busy working on the deck, even through yesterdays snow and rain.

Lucky #6 certainly is a trooper, and he does great work too!

Wyatt, much against his wishes, but after accepting a twenty dollar bribe unwillingly gave in to a hair cut last night. We are pleased to report that he does have ears and a forehead.

Here he is, clean cut and pissed off.

I decided to get busy on Tiffany's rug this week.

Here is the process so far.

From sheet to strips to sewn strips to ball0sheet.

One more sack to sew and I start crocheting.

My Sister sent me a care package of my FAVORITE products!!

Melaleuca makes the BEST soap products I have ever used in my whole entire life and thats NO lie.

After using them I can't go back to using anything else.

So that's SIX dish soaps, a bar soap, shampoo (the best) liquid mint hand soap and a candle!

Really, there is no way to describe to you how wonderful these products are, you just have to try them yourself.

Thanks Julie :)

Then, yesterday in the mail came a gift from my BBF MamaHut, AKA Buddhas Mountain Momma (rings like a John Denver song doesn't it!) Margarita foot cream, body lotion and a special top secret ingredient hand scrub AND one of her wonderful made by her on the mountain heaven scented reed diffusers!

How lucky am I!!!

Very lucky thats how!

K, I have a rug to make.

Ciao'