Potty Talk

I have a HUGE idea!

This is monumental.

Seriously.

You know how when you're nursing you aren't supposed to drink coffee because the caffeine goes straight to the baby? Same with soda pop, spicy foods etc...

Ok, so listen to this... What if I mixed finely ground espresso with my chickens layer pellets?

They would lay espresso eggs!

I could sell them to Starbucks and here would be the ad campaign...

Are you tired and hungry? Try a Starbucks Espresso Egg! Protein and caffeine at your fingertips.

I told you this was big! Starbucks could even put their swag on my eggs.

Here's a glimpse of my vision...



Can you even believe it!

I'll let you know how it goes.

Today I'm on the hunt for a Honey Bucket. I want one to use as a school bus shelter for Wyatt at the end of the driveway. I think I found one in Vancouver, but I would like to find one a little closer to home. You would think those things would be all over the place, but trust me, they're hard to come by. Remember last spring when I got the toilets to put outside the gate to use as planters? Well time and energy got away from me and the flowers I planted soon died so I filled the potty planters with fake flowers from the dollar store. They are a beautiful burst of color that I can easily change out with the seasons and trust me when I tell you the people in the neighborhood LOVE them! I even get phone calls and messages of gratitude, and passers by slow down to tell Wyatt as he gets off the bus how much they LOVE the faux foliage, so I think that continuing with the latrine theme will be a huge hit. I'll be sure to post some photos of the finished project.

Speaking of projects, I'm crocheting some great grocery totes. I think it would be swell for all of you to join the Ban the Bag campaign and to also ditch the water (all plastic) bottles. Here's a link to the Ban the Bag page and here's a link to Ban the Bottle . Make a difference, it just feels good. I'm also making some sooooper cute slippers that Wendy thinks are dumb but I think she's dumb so whatever.

*Espresso Eggs are a Trademark of me :)

Friends and Family

Everything is so quiet today.

I feel like I should be in  a commercial for a Bose noise blocker.



Really though, since I'm still lounging around in my robe and rubber boots I feel like some loony old woman ditched in a home after the family left. You know, like it was all good and fun when everyone was here but now I just sit and look out the window and wait for them to come back...

Lucky for me 3:15 rolls around pretty quick ❤

Ummm... Ok, so listen to THIS!

6 and I were in town last Thursday and my phone rings while we're in the paint section at Bi-Mart. It was Wyatt and from the sound of his voice I thought a goat had chewed his leg off. He was so hysterical I couldn't make out a word he said except for... Are you ready for this? Are you sure? Maybe you should sit down....

He said.... "Wendy is here she's moving in!"

I almost threw up right there in the rattle can aisle.

I told him I had to finish my shopping, but what I really meant was I needed to peel myself from the floor and make a trip to the ladies room.

All kinds of things were running through my mind. What had happened? Why was she home? She hadn't called to say she was coming or needed help packing. Other than Wyatt melting down things sounded pretty steady at the house, there wasn't any crying and it didn't sound like Jesse Ass Face Butt Hole Boyfriend  was there causing a commotion.

What was up?

OMG, was she pregnant?

I was scared to go home.

6 and I walked around Bi-Mart for awhile and then decided we needed to go face things head on.

Shit, I left the hose on, BRB...

Ok, where was I?

Oh... So we got home and there was Wen sitting on the porch laughing with some lady and Wyatt stuck to her side. The lady stood up and walked over to me and gave me a hug and said, "I brought your girl home." I thanked her, but wasn't to sure if I was really thankful or not. Remember, it's been a pretty f'ed up two years and our last meeting really sucked.

Wendy was really calm and told me she had "just had enough".

Really?

Just had enough?

Shit, I "just had enough" about a year and ten months ago.

My apologies go out to all of you who were with me during the Jack years. I imagine you're pulling your hair out and writhing on the floor as I recant this story, but now I understand that karma is a bitch and I guess I had this coming.

Wendy now lives upstairs with her brother stuck to her backside. She is doing really well in school and I think she is heading down a really good path that I hope will lead her to wonderful places amen.

Trina and Chrissi and the kids arrived on Friday, and we had SO much fun!

The kids loved the animals ❤



And we made ice candles...



And did some trailer park tie dye...

And then this happened...
And then this...

Oh well, other than the fact that I was a helmet wearing window licker all the next day it was SO worth it!

There was a lot of life going on here last weekend,

so I guess it's ok if things are a little quiet today :)

I think I'll go get dressed now.

Procrastinating...

Ugh.

I should be getting ready for the carpet cleaners. I decided to have the floors done before the weekend because the rain is supposed to start next week and I don't want to have fresh carpet and fresh mud all at the same time. 6 did all of the heavy lifting last night but I still need to do the little pain in the ass stuff like move plants and clutter butidontwantooooo. I would rather crochet or play Bejeweled or make soap or poke my eyes out with a stick. What is my deal anyway, why don't I ever want to do anything I don't like to do? It's a real shame that there isn't some type of job I could go to every day where everything is all about me having a good time. Maybe I already have that job, but I don't think so because theres still a bunch of dumb stuff I have to do like laundry and getting dressed.

Trina and Chrissi and the kids will be here tomorrow!

Ok... I have to go or the junk won't be off the floor and the carpet guys will probably get mad and think I'm some sort of lazy slob.

A Lot of Nothing

Is it creepy that Wyatt is finding rocks in the yard that he can pick up with magnets?

Should I have the carpets cleaned before our company comes for Labor Day weekend or after?

Wyatt missed the bus this morning because the clock on my computer was ten minutes slow. I thought I was playing Bejeweled for a long time and then the bus passed the house and I knew I had played Bejeweled to long. Oh well, I got to see some other moms who had apparently also been playing Facebook games to long because there were ALOT of moms dropping kids off at school this morning. Maybe because it's such a long bus ride from anywhere to the school. Wyatt needs to be out the door by 6:40 and school starts at 7:25 and the ride home is even longer. Have you ever noticed the cars that people drive when you drop off or pick up at school? I noticed today that most of the cars were trucks like ours. You know, the four door trucks. Not many mini vans, a few SUVs, not very many cars and no hybrids. Interesting. Especially since Portland is such a green city and Oregon as a whole is pretty with it when it comes to conservation. I guess Molalla didn't get the memo. Did you know that Oregon may be one of the first states to ban the plastic grocery bag? I'm totally in favor of it, banning the bag that is and if you have to use them at least recycle them. I made my sister a HUGE grocery tote out of more than 200 plastic grocery bags. I wish I would have taken a picture of it, I swear you could fit two kittens and a goat in it. I used my rotary cutter and stripped all the bags and then crocheted them into a hobo kind of tote. Maybe I'll make another one. I get the bags from the recycled bag bins at the store.

I wonder when we should take the pool down.

I'm going to try a new no bake cookie recipe today.

I am so bored now that Wyatt is back in school.

If he can't participate in P.E at school, do you think he should take riding lessons or swim at the pool a few nights a week? Maybe he should do both. If I took him swimming I could hurl my fat ass into the pool too. I'll look into swimming. And continuing riding lessons.