Just a Thought...

Instead of blogging on the weekends, I think I will do a "week in pictures" on Saturday and then just lay on the couch on Sunday.

A random posting of photographs, old and new for you viewing enjoyment.

Example:

Yesterday I took a number of pictures after the brakes went out on the tractor and Mike came careening through the pasture and busted through the gate almost hitting the Goatwagon (GK's suburban.)

I think it's a fun idea.

I'll put together a sample montage today.

Forget Me Not

Well, Birthdaypalooza 08' has come to an end.
I love looking forward to our birthdays, but by the end of the week I'm ready for the festivities to be over.
The year Wendy graduated from high school I must say was the most exhausting.
Between both of our birthdays and the graduation parties and ceremony, we had enough cake to feed a small country and flowers enough to outfit a church for the welcoming of the Pope.
By the time we got to the end of the last day (Wendy's graduation) I was so tired and out of it that I drove away leaving her at the school.
All of our family and friends were gathered in the living room of our single wide ready to cut the cake and toast the champagne, but where was Wendy.......
We all looked at one another doing the "she didn't ride with me, I thought she rode with you"
It was then we realized we had all waved goodbye to her in the parking lot under the flag pole, but no one had picked her up.
Oops.
Not to long after our observation, Mr and Mrs Griener (Gina, call your Mom and Dad and tell them I mentioned them in the blog!) saved the day, and pulled in the driveway with poor forgotten Wen.
I to this day try and convince her that it's things like that memories are made of.
Remember when we forgot Wen at school on graduation!
Remember when Wen missed the ferry on Christmas and was stuck with all the presents and Wy till the last boat!
Remember when Wen went to jail for no seat belt because the check I wrote for her ticket bounced!
Remember when Wen waited for the school bus for two hours because I forgot to change the clocks!
Stuff like that.

Mike should be working today and I sure HOPE things pick up soon.
He's making enough money, but he's home to much and he's to neurotic to be home all the time.

Wendy is working and called to say that there were gifts waiting for her when she walked in this morning :)

Wy is enjoying his last Friday at school and Leighanne is coming home on the bus with him this afternoon.
Today is field day so they will play games and have the talent show that Wy has been so torn up about.
He couldn't decide rather he should preform his mermaid siren song or martial arts.
We encouraged the martial arts.
Reputations are won and lost in the blink of an eye in the third grade, and Wyatts siren song may not be soon forgotten.


GK is looking forward to hearing the news of my Grammy's ex husband's cousins husbands funeral service today.
He said Mel always was a horses ass and he had no use for him.
I told him he didn't have to worry about that any more seeing as Mel was taking a long dirt nap.
He happily agreed with me and then told me again how he always thought Mel was a horses ass.
This conversation has been repeated numerous times a day since we heard of Mel's passing on the 26th.

Ok, Mikes up and around and you all know I can't think with him yabbering in my ear.

Have a good day!

Wen's Party!

Happy Birthday Wen

Not like she EVER reads the blog.

She's not even concerned about the content of information I may be sharing about her via the world wide web.

Whatever.

t w e n t y f o u r  years ago today, that's when I got her. 

Twenty-four years ago.

When Gina was here last weekend we were talking about when I got her and how scary it was because I was so young, but probably not as scary as it should have been.

I think back on how easy she was to take care of, hardly ever cried, great sleeper (that ability has only been perfected over the years) but I think alot of that has to do with the fact that I didn't know to expect anything else.

It's like this....

Star Search was the big show in 1984.

I was totally into Star Search much like someone may  be into American Idol now.

When it was time for Star Search to come on, I would just put Wendy to bed because I didn't want to be interrupted during the show.

It worked because I didn't think it wouldn't work.

The thought never crossed my mind that she would fuss or bother during that hour.

Here again is another example.

When I brought her home it was early evening and I was tired.

I got things settled and it was soon time for bed.

I put her in the crib and we went to sleep.

I didn't anticipate she would be up during the night, night is a time for sleeping.

Wendy slept through the night from that night on.

It's much like my philosophy on changing a tire.

If you don't know how, you won't need to.

Don't expect the worst and the worst won't happen.

So here we are  t w e n t y f o u r  years later.

Who other than us thought we would ever make it this far.

We did though, and we never got to far away from each other for very long.

She and I have been through alot together.... six husbands, thirty two cars, at least 15 different homes, five schools, more hairstyles that I can begin to count (her mullet was my personal favorite) and a brother fifteen years into our relationship. 

She is my rock, my life, my light, my laughter, my joy, my pain.

There is never a time when she is not on my mind or in my heart.

It's hard to remember life before Wendy.

Maybe because it's Wendy who gave me my life

I love you Gwendolyn Louise Mabel June Itchy Butt Marshall Wood.

Happy Birthday.

WoW!

                                                      Wouldya look at this cake!

Ok, it seems as though I opened my eyes and started my first day of forty much as I did my last day of thirty-nine.

So far so good.

This has been a great Birthday, although if I could make one change it would be to have all my friends and family here with me.

Maybe when I'm fifty.

For my Birthday so far, Mike removed and cleaned the dash of my car, replacing all the burned out bulbs, cleaning , dusting and polishing the gages and glass AND installed a new car stereo for me!

I have said it before, but I will say it again.

I totally dig that guy.

I'm glad he's a few years younger than me because I have grown to rely on him for so much and I want to be sure he outlives me.

He and Wendy just left for town to pick up a carrot cake he finagled Haggen into making for me.

They told him they didn't do carrot cakes in 1/4 sheets for birthday type cakes, but would make an exception.

I love carrot cake.

Because I know Mike, I know that he has something else stirring too, otherwise he wouldn't have insisted Wendy go along with him to town.

He even took her in her Mrs. Buttersworth bandanna which tells me it's pretty serious business.

He's to uptight to take Wendy anywhere even when she looks normal, (because of her less than normal behavior) let alone when she's on a roll.

I imagine it will be an interesting trip.

I am making my favorite, lasagna for dinner tonight with a cesar salad, fresh italian bread and maybe even a glass of wine. I have a whole box that's been in the fridge for almost a year.

I guess if I'm waiting for a special occasion, this is as good as any.

My stories are on, gotta go.

Looking Forward to Forty..... I Guess

Well, this is it.

The last post of my thirties.

I will leave it up to you to decide if my post's seem more mature or serious as of tomorrow.

I doubt they will be.

So goodbye thirties, it was mostly fun, always interesting and sometimes even a little scary.

You brought me Wyatt, two husbands, a bad brain, fifty pounds and a move to Oregon.

I am so thankful for Wyatt, one of the husbands, and making it safely through a scary medical situation.

I haven't forgotten the deal I made with God about quitting smoking, losing weight and lowering my cholesterol.

Lucky for me he's a patient and forgiving man.

Heres to my Dad and the fact that he couldn't have stood another day with a thirty-nine year old daughter!

Goodnight :)

Back to the Business of Blogging

It was one of the best weekends EVER!

It all started Friday afternoon when Wyatt's much anticipated entertaining adventure began.
We went to Shannon's and low and behold there was Shannon, Katherine, and a third girl child standing in the driveway waiting to be picked up.
What could I do?
It's not like I could just leave her standing in the driveway of some other kids house.
So Leighanne jumped in the middle seat squealing and laughing as we headed for home.
They had a blast singing, dancing and playing, and to my and Wy's amazement, little girls like to clean.
Those three had his room ready for the white glove in no time, so in my book, they are welcome back ANYtime.


Ok, here's a funny story that I hope will still be funny even in it's condensed version.
We were on our way home from the pool and I was trying to decide if I should drop Leighanne off at her house or have her Mother meet us at Shanon's.
I asked Leighanne where she lived and she told me in a white house.
There was my answer.
Meet her Mother at Shanon's.
On the drive there we had a conversation that went like this....

Me: Leighanne, do you live in a new house or an old house?

Leighanne: Old house

Me: A city house or a country house?

L A: A country house

Me: Do you have animals?

L A: Yes, we have 84 chickens!

Me: 84 Chickens! Wow that's alot of eggs!

L A: Oh no, we'll pluck em' and butcher em'! Dad got 80 of em' cause they were only .50 a piece.

Me:: 80! wow, but I thought you said you had 84?

L A: I did, the neighbor gave us 8 more.

Me: Well honey, that makes 88....

L A: I know, the dog got 4!

Great story.

Gina showed up late Friday night and that made for the ending of a near perfect day!

Saturday, Wendy and Gina went to the Coast and the Aquarium.
The weather was good and they took some great pictures at the fish emporium, had lunch, and just did the tourist thing all afternoon.

Mike went to work at about 3:30 on Saturday and got home at 5:00am Sunday.
Needless to say he wasn't very entertaining.
The girls and Wyatt and I went to lunch Sunday afternoon and got to wear big Mexican birthday hats and get free ice cream.

That was FUN!
Wyatt and I came home and Wendy and Gina continued with the party preparations and hosted the best birthday party ever : )
We had a hamburger cake, Subway sandwiches and beer and it was all just perfect (the hamburger cake was a regular cake frosted to look like a hamburger, it wasn't really a hamburger.) 

My Mom was here and even GK was in a party mood, (kind of)

I planted all my flowers in the patio planter, it turned out SO pretty.
Lot's of coleus and some begonias and a bunch of other stuff.

I'll take pictures as it fills in.

So, back to the same' ol same ol' today.
Wyatt goes to school and Wen goes to work.

I don't know if Mike work's today or not, but the word is, after memorial Day is when things get really busy.

I have to go wake up Wy.
Have a great day

This weekend the blog is like the book report you did in sixth grade where you rented the video instead of reading the book.
Fun huh?!

Party Day

Celebrating our Birthdays a little early...

For Your Viewing Pleasure

Saturday Morning Photo Montage...

Swim day Friday and a picture of Gina!

Picture This

Jack is alive.

He survived the surgery and he has a morphine pump and that's all I know.

Jack and morphine... I can only imagine.

Wendy made me open my birthday present early.

It's a super cool digital camera!

The camera I had I got off Craigslist two years ago, but I figured it worked just fine and didn't want a new one.

Well, she got me one anyway and it ROCKS!

It doesn't even need batteries, you charge it like a phone.

I love IT!

Mike hung all my hummingbird feeders on the deck yesterday, they are really pretty.

I have a feeling I'll be spending my summer months filling feeders.

On Wednesday he spent his entire afternoon fixing the air conditioning in my Explorer.

I thought it was pointless, but it kept him busy and if he was working outside he wasn't wearing out the carpet pacing inside.

After an entire afternoon spent in the rain he got it working!

I really didn't think he could, but he kept telling me (over and over as Mike does) that he could do it and he DID!

I dig that guy.

This morning we are going to Costco and then later this afternoon we are picking up Shannon (Wyatt's betrothed) so they can spend the afternoon together and then go to the pool this evening.

Katherine, Shannon's older and less attractive sister will come along as well and perform the duty of chaperone.

Poor girl, Wyatt and Shannon are like Frick and Frack and Katherine is like... Bob.

Gina is coming tonight!!!

I love it when Gina comes for a visit.

For one reason, we don't have many visitors and two reason she isn't just Wendy's friend, she's everybody's friend.

K, bye

Life and Death Situations

Wendy didn't take the news about Jack very well.

She kinda cried till' she almost threw up.

He isn't her Dad but he was the Dad that was there while she was growing up.

We went through this same type of thing about five years ago with her real Dad.

She'd had no contact with him since she was three years old.

No calls, no Christmas or birthday gifts, nothing.

That was ok though because he had "issues" and I had full custody.

When we got married, I was fifteen and he was twenty two and we didn't live in the Appalachia's.

Anywho, to continue with the story.

I was at work and got a call from my family saying that his family had called because Steve had been in a bad motorcycle accident and wasn't expected to live.

For reasons having to do with next of kin we made a six hour trip to the hospital to see a man Wendy didn't even know to do whatever it was that needed to be done.

When we got there and went into his room it was like some sort of Twilight Zone episode.

I was face to mangled up face with the spitting image of my daughter.

Same nose, same mouth, same everything.

Creepy.

Creepy for Wendy too.

The story goes that he didn't die, he made what I assume to be a full recovery.

When he was released from the hospital we met him and his family for dinner (that was uncomfortable) and then he turned scary stalker, following and calling Wendy which really freaked her out.

I called and told him to back the f off and leave her alone.

He told me he had "people" and could have me "taken care of" if I interfered.

I laughed and hung up and that was the end of that.

Ok, so how did I get started on that.......

Oh yeah, Wendy is very upset.

I wish I could help and make this better for her, but all I can do is love her and try to ease the painfull and confusing emotions Jacks illness is causing her.

I found out that a very special person in my life lost a close family member in a car accident this week.

It made me sick to my stomach when I got the news and it still hurts when I think about it.

I hate that feeling.

This has been a crummy week.

Next week is my birthday, I'll be forty.

Ugh.

Death and Swim Shorts

Hmmm....

Well, the dream is almost a reality.

You know all these years that I have been praying for Jack to drop dead?

Well he's dropping.

What do you do, think, or say when you get news that your twice ex-husband who was the biggest dirt bag, alcoholic, abusive, mullet sporting, white trash love of your life informs you that he may be kicking the eternal bucket?

I don't know either.

Here's the story (short version)

He called last night to let me know I may not be receiving child support for a while.

Like that has EVER been a concern of his before.

He was sick with pneumonia and has been in the hospital for over two weeks.

They had already stabbed a hole through his back to drain the fluid in his lungs but he's still not doing well so tomorrow they crack his ribs open and scrape him out.

I swear there have been nights when I have dreamed of things like this and worse.

I dreamed of the day he would fall over in a drunken stupor and whack his head open.

In my Jack death fantasy, I would take him to the hospital and the doctor would look at me and say "I'm sorry Mrs SwaffordX2, theres nothing more we can do" I would whimper a little bit and then go home and repaint the kitchen.

Since Jack has moved to Texas he's not such a thorn in my side

I can deal with the phone calls, even the ones that really piss me off, because I can just hang up and it's over.

But dead?

Never mind, I'm not even going to think about this any more because he's too much of an

A-Hole to die

I would hate to let my emotions on Jack Swafford go soft and then have him live.

Speaking of dying, one of the frogs died yesterday and I thought Mike was going to hold a service on the deck.

He was pretty torn up about it and worried about the other frogs that weren't dead, and would they die.

I haven't checked yet if there were any more frog fatalities during the night, but I will let you know after Mike does morning head count.

We took Wyatt swimming last night.

He has been begging to go for weeks, so last night we went.

The only problem was, we got to town and Wyatt realized he forgot his swim shorts.

So, we got ice cream and came home.

I was a very long ride home, with all the blubbering from the backseat about how unfair life was.

How that was all he ever wanted was to swim, and couldn't we just understand he had a lot on his mind and that sometimes people forget, and couldn't we just wheel into K-Mart and buy some new shorts?

Whatever, through tears and rainbow sherbet we somehow survived the ride home, I gave him a watercolor set from Grandma and life was worth living again.

Amazing how fast we can bounce back from tragedy.

I have to go wash George.

Rain Dance

I woke up this morning to see the rain falling and knew it was going to be a great day!
After the last few days of heat, and yesterday being not so hot, but SO humid the rain is a welcome sight.

I went to town with Wendy yesterday.
While she was in her drunk girl school I went to visit my Mom.
We sat outside for an hour and a half and talked about dumb silly mindless stuff and it was a nice break.
We drank iced tea and enjoyed her little piece of patio paradise.

Then Wendy and I drove to downtown Portland where I have never ventured to go on my own.
I have been mind you, just always as a passenger not a director.
I was following the Google directions when before I realized what was happening I found myself heading onto the highest longest bridge in the world with no rails on the side and traffic heading straight towards me, then the bridge started shaking and stars lit up the sky in the middle of the day.
Lucky for me and everyone else on the bridge I made it to the other side.
I don't think any of the above is true, but it seemed very real to me.
The next task at hand was figuring out a way home without having to cross that bridge again.

Ok, here's the big news of yesterday.
The evil neighbor pRicks wife was walking through the pasture on her side of the property line.
I was watering the plants on the deck.
This is what I did.
I threw my hand in the air and shouted hello.
I couldn't believe what I was doing but I had no choice, I had to follow through.
As she waved back I told her to come and see the Garcia's.

Had I really said that?

I had and it was good.
We met near the chicken compound, and tension filled the air...
I extended a kind greeting towards her and acted as if I didn't know she was married to the biggest dickhead in the world. 

I could tell she was waiting, waiting for me to drop the bomb, maybe waiting for me to punch her in the face, tell her what I thought, anything other than stand before her and be nice. 

It was almost more than she could handle, she wanted to leave, to get away while the getting was still good. 

I drew out our neighborly conversation as long as I could. 

I made chit cat about the chickens and complained about the weather.

I told a few funny stories about the kids and talked about Mikes job.
It was killing her.
After close to thirty gruelling minutes, I told her how nice it was talking to her and that we needed to do it again soon.
I bet a hundred she doesn't walk that fence line during daylight again for a while.

Mike is brooding because I asked him to not interrupt me with fish nonsense while I'm writing.
I don't care that the frog is swimming in the porch pond, but he does, so I guess I need to go watch.

See Ya

Not So Sweaty Monday

We made it through the heat!
Today is only supposed to be in the middle to high 70's and trust me, that's a cool front compared to what we had this weekend.
GK did really well in the heat, and I have to say, that was my biggest concern.
He was cooked, but not well done.
I brought out all the fans and had this house shut down so tight it was like 24 hour darkness had fallen upon us.
It wasn't until the second day that I remembered to pull the new blinds on the deck, that brought the temp down an immediate 10 degrees.
Wendy brought home dinner from Haggen the first night and the next two we went out.
It was nice not to stand in a kitchen, or for that matter stand anywhere cooking.

Mike and I went to town yesterday and bought some koi for the porch pond.
They are SO cool!
They seem more like fish "pets," where as the goldfish are just entertaining to look at.
I took the frogs of the kitchen table and dumped them in the pond as well.
Whatever, they just hide under the rocks and you can't see them at all.
Maybe they feel like bait in the big pond.
We took my Mom some fish for her patio pond.
She wasn't home when we got there, so we just dumped them in and left.
I talked to her later and she said they were doing just fine swimming around doing what fish do.

Here's a funny story.

When we pulled in after dinner on Saturday the Garcia's met us at the end of the driveway.
I stopped the car and got out to give them a couple of marshmallows not thinking what happens to marshmallows after being left in a car during 100.2 degree heat.
Needless to say it was quite a mess, but I couldn't back out, I'd gone to far.
I had stopped and made eye contact and they were already experiencing their normal bout of snack time asthma.
(That's when they don't get out a full meesh-maw, just half "ass" meeshes.)
So, I pulled the sticky gooey white mess from the bag and let the anxious Garcia's lick the sweet snack from my fingers.
That worked fine until they had melted marshmallow mouth and everything they touched stuck to their lips.
They didn't care, I think their stuck on the junk.
Marshmallows....crack for donkeys.



Have a great day!

Patio Baby Update

Cute huh?

Non Blog

Heat hangover.

Q & A

Thank you Jo, even in this Gawd forsaken heat you made me laugh!



Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that 's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Weather Update

100.2 degrees @ 3:30

Even the poodles are sweating.

I am SO Hot

Well, not yet, but I will be soon.

The first year we lived her (2006) temperatures started climbing sometime around late April or May.

That's when I found out fat people don't handle high temperatures well.

I thought I would acclimate.

I didn't

I was still fat and still hot at the end of a record heat breaking summer in Oregon.

I thought last year would be better.

It wasn't

I hope this year will be better.

It won't.

I rolled onto the floor this morning thinking that if I could do some exercises and be thin before summer I would have a better chance.

I broke a sweat just trying to get back up off the floor.

I'm doomed.

So this morning I have all the fans going, the blinds closed and ice cubes forming in the freezer with hopes that night will fall quickly and the temperature will drop.

I also worry about GK in the heat.

They say that old people and heat are a bad combination.

That with the fact that GK is still in his winter issue attire and unwilling to change even to spring let alone summer wear.

I guess if he heats up to much I'll just drag in the hose and spray him down.

Nothing new with Wyatt.

Nothing new with Wendy.

Mike goes to work at 1:00 this afternoon and will be home around mid-night.

At least the truck has air conditioning.

Maybe he could take us all with him.

*Picture This*

Mike driviving down the road in the Safeway truck loaded with his wife, great grandfather-in-law, nine year old, two poodles and three overweight shih-tzu's.

Maybe sweltering in the heat in the house would be better, at least for Mike ;)

Stay cool and have a good day

Blog Fodder

I really have nothing to say today.

GK is doing well.

Quiet but feeling ok.

Mike is doing the pump wire this morning with the good neighbor.

Let me take this opportunity once again to slander the evil neighbor pRick who is at this moment sitting on his atv in the pasture monitoring the work being done.

God demonstrated his great ability to reach out and touch the evil do'ers with karma buy putting mounds of asbestos in the out of sight out of mind pile that fell on pRicks side of the new property line.

I will experience great joy in watching from my chair on the deck as he wraps everything in the pile and then again when the EPA folks come out to inspect the site >}

Good thing his wife is loaded, because that's going to cost him a few bucks!

Wendy is still sleeping after a long night of "mudding."

That means going out in some hillbilly's beat up 4x4 and trying (not) to get stuck in the mud.

I'm sure they had a wonderful time.

Wyatt wore red swim shorts to school today.

He doesn't know they are swim shorts.

I didn't tell him.

They looked good with the red t-shirt I pulled out of the drawer and I really need to do laundry.

                 BREAKING NEWS

My niece Ingrid got her drivers license yesterday!!

Congratulations Ingrid : )

Julie, don't worry, I swear she will be the safest driver to ever depart your driveway.

That's it for today, and trust me, it was a stretch to get that much.

Hogs and Donkeys

Well, it seems as though monsters have moved in to the pasture below the house.

My friends the Garcia's have "bonded" with us. 

I think maybe it was the ice cream.

Yesterday as I walked between the big and little houses they meesh-mawed me.

I thought it was cute.

Then I went in the garage and spoke to Wendy and they heard me and meesh-mawed. 

I thought it was amazing.

Throughout the day yesterday when they heard my voice on the deck, in the garage, in the driveway, they meesh-mawed. 

I was nervous.

KGerber told me last night, "don't give them treats every time they squeal, you'll create long eared monsters."

Too little information, too late.

The monsters are here.

Please don't misunderstand me, I love the Garcia's and I also love that they are so happy to see me, all I'm saying is that I wouldn't go down there empty handed on a bet for fear of breaking the noise ordinance in our county.

Ok, I'm sure your wondering how things went between Wyatt and Shannon yesterday.

It seems as though Shannon played the "I don't recall you saying anything" card, which made it easy for Wyatt to retain some pride.

He told me after that experience he thinks it's better they simply remain friends and forget about the romance.

I agreed with him.

Did I already tell you Val started blogging?

www. click here dot com

Check it out, and of course if your a "MottoFamily" there are links to her "MottoSite" there as well. 

Why is it Motto not Motor?

Mike has gone down to the neighbors to see when he can start digging the ditch for the pond pump wire.

We are in a race to beat the neighbor pRick since he called a fence company out.

Interesting how he's had the property for over a year and the day he finds out we have to run wire he calls for a fence to be put in.

Hog pen on the fence line.

Hog pen on the fence line.

Hog pen on the fence line.

That's my calming mantra.

If I'm really stressed it goes like this.

Hog pen and flood lights on the fence line.

Hog pen and flood lights on the fence line.

I have to go find a canvas and some marshmallows.

Ciao'

WoW

Did you see House last night?
What a show, I was on the edge of my seat the entire time!
I got the whole "Amber" thing right from the start.
As soon as I saw her in the bar when House was under the effect of Chase's memory lobe enhancement procedure.
I got it!
The metal stick through the leg was almost to much for me though.
Gross.

Last night we took Wyatt to DQ.
I got a large cone not realizing they really mean large when they say large. By the time we got in the driveway the Garcia's were there to meet us and I tossed the rest of my cone split in half over the fence.
I think they thought it was marshmallows until they got their teeth in it.
Their lips started twitching and and then kind of just froze.
It was obvious they got a brain freeze but continued on with their frozen sweet treats.
Moral of this story:
Donkeys dig ice cream.

Wyatt confessed his love for Shannon last night in a brief but heartfelt phone conversation.
Apparently, she either did not return his sentiment or did not take him seriously as he tried to feign sickness and avoid going to school this morning.
I told him it was every man's God given right to take back any profession of love at any given time making the woman question her sanity.
Act like it never happened and move on I said.
Tell her you really like her but you just want to be friends I said, and then go teeter totter with someone else.
I think he kinda gets it, but it may take more practice than the three recess's he has ahead of him today.
I have faith in the little guy, he's strong and has good messing with women's head genes genetically passed down from his Fathers side.

GK is still going strong.
Sleeping well and feeling good.
Hard to have a conversation with, but overall fun to be around.

Wendy's good.
Sleeping and watching t.v.
She's out of toilet paper and cat food so it looks like she's going to have to make a trip to town today.

Mike is running out of things to do.
Maybe he can mow the grass and polish the gutters this afternoon.

Patio Babies

These are the babies hanging on our patio.

Cute huh?!

Mamma's Happy

Well, Mothers Day was a hit!

Mike made what Wyatt called "Brinner," breakfast for dinner.

When Mike got home from work yesterday it was almost 10:00 a.m and Wendy was at work and Mom wasn't coming till' close to 5:00, so we decided to wait and make the big meal when everyone was here to enjoy it.

Wyatt couldn't wait that long for the opening of the gifts so we engaged in that festivity early. I made a pretty impressive haul with a new hummingbird feeder, a "Mom" coffee mug, a tulip tree for the yard and a table lamp for my desk (all the better to see you with.)

Then Mike headed for the bed and the rest of the day was pretty quiet.

Wyatt and I watched "Babe," I had forgotten how much I love that movie.

I decided maybe what this farm needs is a pig, a cute little pig that never grows up, doesn't stink and talks alot.

Then again, maybe not.

When the movie was over we went to town for some last minute supplies.

We stopped at Haggen and picked up some strawberries that the produce boy swore on his life to a Mother on her most sacred of days would be not only fresh, but the best of the year so far.

He was right, they were great!

The strawberry shortcake was the perfect finish to our feast of JCarlson buttermilk waffles, thick cut bacon, scrambled eggs, hash browns and brie with fresh baguette.

Wyatt said he really liked the "angel fruit cake." 

Other than the most important holiday of the year passing, not much is new.

Wyatt is back in school today with 16 more to go.

Yes we are counting now.

Wendy has been busy working and watching t.v at her house.

We still see her, but only during regular mealtime hours now.

Her laundry is done, her house is clean, it's almost as though t.v made her normal.

Mike has only been working a few days a week, but things are starting to get busy in the grocery business.

Before long we won't see much of him at all.

GK has been feeling and sleeping great : )

You don't know what a difference that makes around here.

Have you heard the saying, "if Mamma aint happy, aint NObody happy?"

Well here on the farm we word it just a little different.....

I hear Mike up, and Gawd knows I can't blog with him yappin' in my ear.

See ya!

Happy Mothers Day

Well today is Mothers Day.

So far I have celebrated 23 of my own, and 39 with my Mother.

I am so happy to have been "blessed" with the two people that call me Mom.

So to all you Moms, have a wonderful day!

Saturday

I don't have much to say except a brief welcome home to FC and I hope you have a safe trip.

Send postcards and remember the accommodations are crappy at the Crossbar Hotel.

Here's a great picture Wendy took on her way to town Thursday

Now Broadcasting in HD Parts 1 & 2

So we got the new BIG t.v hooked up to high definition this morning.

It's ok, but maybe not all it's cracked up to be unless your watching The Little Mermaid or Finding Nemo.

Our trip to Costco yesterday was just what I needed to boost my spirits and drain my bank account. 

I love Costco.

I also love walking out to the garage to see full "pantry" shelves and the green fridge packed with overflow that the inside fridge couldn't fit. 

The big freezer is holding the dinners of many nights to come, pork chops, chicken parts and pizza pockets! 

It's like we're ready for January 1st of the year 2000. 

Remember that?

My Dad had cans of  beans and gallon jugs of water stacked in the bathroom of his little apartment.

My biggest fear was that something would happen and we would all be spooning beans out of a can with him because of my lack of trust in the media.

Had I prepared for my own family, we would have survived on Easy Mac, Ding Dongs and Yoo Hoo.

Things are too distracting around here this morning what with the cable guy, Wyatt's new ability to record 350 hours of programing and GK trying to figure out what they do with the old receivers.

I'll talk to ya later.

PART DEUX

Ok, I'm back.

I think the dish guy has things just about wrapped up at Wendys.

He is one of those HIGH ENERGY guys who shouts at you in short sentences and uses his hands alot.

He really sent me off balance.

I checked the medicine cupboard in the bathroom after he used it on the given advice from my considerably older and wiser sister.

Everything was still there (I counted.)

Yesterday the neighbor delivered a load of dirty gravel for the driveway.

He is most obviously a dump truck driver, not a dump truck spreader.

Dump and ditch.

Mike was out working with the tractor and rake until sundown, but it sure looks good today.

This afternoon Bob will bring another load and Mike will do the area between the houses and towards the barn.

We let the mallards and the turkeys out of the compound yesterday.

It is so fun to see them all out fowling around.

It was even  more fun to see Wendy when she went down to feed the chickens with me and the turkeys walked up to her.

LORD!

I thought she would go into coronary arrest.

HAHAHA!

It was the best.

You see, turkeys are to Wendy what the boogie man is to a five year old.

Now I think I'm done.

For Jay at PetSmart

Unbelievable!

As we were walking into PetSmart this morning to get supplies for Carlos, George's twin brother was walking in to be groomed.

Mike and I could NOT believe what we were seeing.

I followed them in to the grooming room so I could get a closer look and sure enough you could almost mistake one for the other.

We found out his name was Sam and his two legged friend is Jay.

Jay may have been a little leery of my approach, but what could I do.

It turns out Sam, like George battles his weight to height ratio, but maybe Jay was relieved to find out we had three Shih-tzu's with weight issues.

So, here's a picture of George for Sam and Jay!

It was a pleasure to meet you both : )

Leaving the House

I'm going to Costco today!

Other than quick runs to town it seems like it's been forever since I have left this house.

GK has been feeling so well these last few days that I feel more than comfortable leaving for a few hours with Wendy across the driveway.

GK was kind of a grouchy old bear yesterday.

He is still angry with me for not agreeing with him about chiwawas.

Some hoarder was raided and they pulled 150 of the little barkers from their flea and poo infested prison and GK thought it would be a great idea to adopt not one, but TWO. 

After all, their just little dogs.

I made the point that we already had FIVE efing dogs and if we brought home two more the next raid would be on our house.

He disagrees and thinks I'm a cold hearted jerk.

Whatever.

I'm just glad he has it in him to tangle with me about it.

                   Breaking News

Wendy is having her t.v's hooked up tomorrow.

This is a hUGE step for her and she did it all on her own.

If it weren't for the food in our fridge and the lack there of in hers, we may have never seen her again.

A girl can only survive on PoP-TarTs and peanut butter for so long you know.

Mike is out of the shower so it's time to go.

Have a great day! 

The Day After

All's calm on the farm today.

I just can't stand that neighbor and find myself counting the days until the neighbors wife goes in search of a new husband.

Anyway, I'm over it.

Wyatt is home from school today suffering from crusty eye and mouth syndrome.

He really strugles durring allergy season.

He took a Zyrtec before bed last night, but apparently that wasn't quite the kick he needed.

He can be snotty and scratchy in the bed today watching the 42 hours of Power Rangers he has DVR'd.

Mike entered into a battle of strength with the ditch witch this morning and I am sad to report he was badly defeated.

He just left to return it in town and has made contact with the good neighbor in regards to some excavation work the first of next week.

The pump saga continues.......

Wendy worked last night, so no news from across the driveway yet.

Mike is concerned that she may never find a husband due to the fact that she unconsciously launches spit bubbles from her tongue and walks around with toothpaste on her face. 

I still grasp to the adage that there is someone for everyone.

If not, she can just live across the driveway and turn into Wyatt's crazy older spinster sister who slings beer and smokes (and blows bubbles.) 

GK is on his game today. 

I think the row with the neighbor got his blood warmed up and gave him something new to think about.

That's a good thing.

Today is wash the floors and dogs day, gotta go.

UPDATE

GK went down to pRicks house and he backed down like a mouse to GK.

He kissed his ass and poured him a drink and said whatever GK wanted to do was fine with him.

It's like I told GK, if that Jackass had enough in his pants to stand up to him I would have at least had respect for the weasel.

He folded and cried like a little girl as soon as he saw GK.

I swear, someday we'll put flood lights and a hog pen on that property line.

Until then, I'll just send him lot's of bad neighbor JuJu.

Pond Wars 2008

Breaking News

The neighbor Rick who bought the nine acres and pond last spring blew a rod this morning when Mike told him the pump had been repaired.

He told Mike my Grampy was a FOOL for spending the money to replace a pump that would have to be removed in a few years.

He also said we couldn't run a line through HIS propety unless it was done by code and with permits.

Mike kept his cool and told GK what had gone on when he returned from town

GK then got back in the goat wagon and went to have a "talk" with the asshole neighbor.

I hope GK punches pRick in the face.

Stay tuned.

Sleeping like a baby, or a really old guy who sleeps really good

HOLY CRAP!
It is like the clouds have parted and the sun is shining through.
All of the sudden GK is sleeping not just through the night, but into a decent hour of the morning.
Only problem is, I am still getting up all night to look in on him.
One little medication alteration and it's sweet z's all night.
The other benefit is he is so much more enjoyable to be around when he is awake.
Don't worry, I'm not dumb and I know this won't last forever, but I will cherish the day's that it does!

Wendy cleaned her house and rearranged the living room yesterday and it looks GREAT!
I'm serious, it looks so good, and for the first time it looks like a normal person lives there as opposed to an over aged sorority pledge.
Baby steps.

The pump guy came yesterday and after all this waiting and trying to figure out what the deal is, he hooked everything up and discovered one of the wires is fried.
This means Mike has to dig a ditch from the barn to the pond, 800 feet, and bury a new wire.
I'm glad my big job today is vacuuming.

Here's something.
I'm teaching myself how to knit.
I have looked on line and in my "yarn" book, and everyplace I look they tell me a different way to do it.
Another thing is I don't like the aluminum needles, so today I will go to town and get some of those wooden needles on a string.

The fish conspiracy went off pretty well yesterday.
I put the new fish back in the old bowl with new rocks and a new plant.
Wyatt was so impressed by the extreme bowl makeover that when I mentioned it made Wendy look like a new fish, he readily agreed.
She was so happy she looked like a whole new fish, even her colors were brighter.
I love the innocence of nine.

Peace Out.

UPDATE

Mission code name new wendy accomplished.

Fish in the bowl.

Kid none the wiser.

WoW

GK is on a roll today!

He got up early and has been feeling GREAT.

Maybe the fall to the floor on Friday shook his beans up and they all fell back in the right spots.

I'm telling you, he's on it like a bonnet.

Mike is home today waiting for the pump guy to come.

He has already sprayed Round Up on all the stray bad grass around the farm this morning and yesterday, he mowed the back pasture and Ox Bowed all the blackberries.

Busy and neurotic. It can sometimes be a good combination.

Saturday we sprang the ducks from the compound and yesterday the geese.

They are in fowl heaven having the entire pasture to graze.

The Garcia's on the other hand are not thrilled, but mearly tolerate their new feathered companions.

R.I.P

Wendy the fish died Saturday night.

Wendy the person and I will make a trip to the pet store today to do yet another walk of shame down the fish row and purchase a new Wendy to slip in the bowl while Wyatt is at school.

What an overly emotional nine year old kid doesn't know won't hurt him.

When he's twenty he will be contacting Ripley's to report the longest living beta fish in history.

I hope that kid goes to college and earns a degree that will someday support his therapy bills.

Wendy (the person) and I made puppy chow last night.

Have you ever had that?

Mmmmmm good.

Cereal squares, chocolate, peanut butter and powdered sugar.

What could be wrong with that?

I will post the recipe and a picture later.

Here's a picture of the daisy in a teacup.

Cute huh?

Wal-Mart.

Ok, I'm going to town now.

Ciao'

Sunday Morning

So far, so good.

Quiet weekend, and God knows we love those.

GK slept well last night except for the beginnings of a cough.
Mike worked all night and got in at about 6:00am.
Y spent the night at Wens house, which is one of his favorite things to do.
I imagine it's like spending the night in the fun house at the carnival.
Things are not as they appear and maybe just a little bit scary.

I think someone greased the sheets on GK's bed Friday night.
At about 10:30 I heard a huge thud.
I shoved Mike out of bed and we raced down the hall to find GK on the floor beside his bed looking a bit befuddled.
With an arm up and a little dusting off, he checked out ok.
He and Mike were able to fall right back to sleep, while I on the other hand found myself making rounds all night.
The adrenaline rush and two recess peanut butter cups and the large glass of chocolate milk that followed in an attempt to calm my nerves backfired and kept me on edge till' the sun came up.
Will I ever learn?
I should have popped two benadryl chased with a shot of vodka.

That's all for now, enjoy your Sunday

No Blog

Wasn't in the mood today.

Nothing to say except I got a new planter cup and saucer thing and put daisies in it.

Talk to you tomorrow.

Struggle....

Ever since it was brought to my attention that the chicken wire displayed on my previous heading made it appear as though I was restraining giant mutant monster chickens, I have been in search of a catchy new look.

The giant flowers with the green background was nice, but a bit overwhelming and made me feel like an ant in the dirt staring up and waiting for the giant foot to fall.

The grass this morning was better. but still left me with that kinda creepy insect feeling.

I think this new one fits the bill.

Kind of white trash meets "green" goes retro.

As Dr Phil would say, "it defines the true me"

Like it?

CAUTION

*The following Post Contains Sappy and Self Indulged Content*

Cancer SUCKS.

Mind you, I don't suffer from the devils disease, but I have been involved in the ongoing care of not one, but two family members who have battled it.

In both cases it was diagnosed at very progressed stages.

My Dad with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma and my Grampy (GK) with advanced prostate cancer.

I am at a point today where the grey clouds are forming over my head and I am having problems keeping up what is normally my bright and cheery disposition.

It's like I say, sometimes I feel like I'm at the end of my rope and then the rope catches on fire.

That's when the guilt starts to settle in.

It's not me in the fight of my life, I'm mearly a spectator holding the rally flag,

but cancer doesn't just consume the life of the person diagnosed, it holds everyone involved in it's grip.

We all survive on the encouraging words of the doctor (or crash at the lack of) and hope that the next day will be better than the one at hand.

With a little good sleep, a favorite meal, or just the companionship of good friends and family, you hope for a difference.

You start to live for the good day as opposed to making yourself live through the bad ones.

I know we are not the only family suffering through this. 

I know there are support groups.

My Dad always said, "Marilyn, you don't need to re-invent the wheel."

I know to take things one minute at a time when one day at a time seems like to much.

But LORD why does it have to be so hard?

Even for the minutes.

Ok, please hold while I pull myself out of the ditch.............

We do have good times, even if they come in segments of moments instead of blocks of days.

We have a strong family that supports each other.

I know that theres always a hand up and an encouraging word on the other end of the phone.

There is always love.

And that's why all of this hurts so bad.

There is so much love.

How does your heart NOT break to see the person you have loved and admired your entire life succumb to this unbelievable, undignified illness.

Tune in tomorrow for your regularly scheduled programming.

Thanks for listening...or should I say reading.

Whatever.

Thank You.

Good Morning Sunshine!

Wyatt is on the bus.

Wendy spent the night at a friends house.

Mike is at work.

GK is.............DONE WITH HIS TAXES!

He took them in yesterday :)

Today is my Sister Kelly's anniversary.

(Hah JCarlson, beat you again!)

Happy anniversary K and best regards to your Husband as well.

I remember the wedding like it was yesterday.

As a family (or maybe it was just me) we still weren't that close, but I remember how beautiful and happy Kelly was.

I remember how happy I was for her.

I had already been married twice, but neither of my marriages had the umph that I saw in the relationships my sisters had with their husbands.

So, I decided to get married again.

I had just started dating....we'll call him "Bob".

Bob was way older than I was, and the way I had things figured out, with age came security and good sense.

Bob was the one.

He was fun, handsome, a good father and he loved me.

We were married within a year, and it was THE BEST wedding ever.

The marriage didn't work out, but I will always have the memories of a beautiful day and that tattoo on my left breast (my right arm and my left ankle) to remind me that marriage is about more than the moment you say I Do, what you "think" it should be and three kegs.

Then came my next two marriages to Jack (that is his real name.)

I don't even have an excuse for that time in my life.

What was I thinking.

Not once, but TWICE.

Thank God I got Wyatt out of that deal or the late 90's and first two or three years of the 21st century would have been a total waste.

So, anyway K, I'm glad you did it right the first time.

You have a wonderful family and I am VERY happy to be able to say I am a part of that family and I love you.

Congratulations and many happy returns on the day.

JCarlson made a lentil soup for dinner last night and I made her send me a picture of it.

It looks so good that I will make up the recipe and post a picture of it on the recipe page.

Be sure to check it out.

I'm going to get a fresh cup of coffee and go sit on the deck in the sun and smoke now.

Enjoy the day!