Doctors Schmoctors

I am SO frustrated! This whole doctor business is getting me down and when I think about all the money we've spent and all the time Wyatt has missed from school it's enough to get my panties in a knot. The money grubber doctor we saw yesterday is of the same mindset as the rheumatologist we saw a month ago. He wants to start Wyatt in their "special" physical therapy program at the hospital. He diagnosed it as RND which is apparently a disorder only recognized by a small number of doctors all trained under the same physician who discovered it. Convenient huh? So this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to sign us both up for the fat lady senior citizen water aerobics class at the pool. Low impact stretching right? Right. I'm going to buy one of those pedicure tubs and soak his foot and massage and stretch the tendons every night. He's just going to have work his way back to where he was. No hospitals, no scammers doctors, we can do it ourselves. I wonder if insurance would be willing to pay me a few hundred dollars an hour... Maybe if I explained to them how much money I'm saving them in the long run they would at least consider it. Here's the deal. I have seen the x-rays and I know there is no break or fracture. His bones are ok. He has very limited circulation in that foot, but they say it is from lack of movement. We can take care of that ourselves. Maybe I can come up with my own white trash treatment plan and have doctors refer their patients to me. Stretching would consist of weed eating and edging along the fence line. Muscle development would come from unloading feed sacks and rooster wrangling, and I could let people pet the donkeys and sit criss cross applesauce in the pasture with the goats and call it meditation therapy.  I would call it Body and Soul Rehabilitation or B.S Rehab for short. I think I'm on to something. Do you think I could get away with a "getting in touch with your aggression" therapy and have people "work" through their emotions by cleaning out the chicken coop? If someone really has issues they can clean out the pig house. I could start a "shock water" therapy class in the pond that would work you through your fears. Fear of getting caught up in old tree snags and the patio umbrella that blew in there twenty years ago.

Tomorrow is my Birthday and I'm having a sleepover with some friends. Well, technically they're Wyatt's friends and it's really just one friend but I'll still make them sing to me and I won't have to share my box of wine with them and after they go to bed I can finish off the cake by myself. I decided to give myself Weight Watchers this year because I'm tired of being a big fat fatty and then maybe for Christmas I'll be tall and thin and get myself a boob job. A girl can dream... Can't she?

Tomorrow I'll tell you a funny story about a black and white dog and a skunk.