Lost Weekend

Wow, did I ever have a weekend.

I felt like I was on a sinking ship and couldn't decide if I should shower.

The visit with Kelly was great, kind of an escape. 

Little did I know when she left I would fall apart a little. 

Me and everything else around me.

While she was here, I got to laugh about dumb things and stay up late talking about anything I wanted to talk about. She was an emotional sponge for me for two and a half days. 

Maybe all the things that I worry about and feel so overwhelmed by all came to the top of my tank and when I let it all go, I had a hard time keeping my head above water.

Sometimes I really feel lonely, even though I'm never alone. Everyone is supportive of me, and the family and what we are doing, but it is sill a very isolating experience. 

I think to myself that I need to get away or have a break, but at the same time it would only be a physical break, not a mental one because I am so tied to GK and every detail of everything that happens here. I will tell you that the last two years of my life have by far been the most humbling.

Until we moved here, I had no idea how the other half lived (the other half of lifers.)

I may feel overwhelmed, but they feel overwhelmed and scared and out of control and completely dependant on the generation they always figured couldn't find their way out of a sack, let alone be in charge of THEIR destiny.

I think That GK is ok with me driving the bus though. 

Even though sometimes I go down the wrong road or pull into the wrong station. 

He has faith in me, and I love him, and somehow it  all works.

I will try to remember to get pictures of the chicken compound today.

It's coming along nicely, and Wyatt has been a super helper for Mike.

He was a little disillusioned the first day when he thought his only job was to pick up scraps and go for beer, but by Sunday he was running the electric drill and painting.

Wendy comes home from her trip North today.

It will be good to have her home again. 

Our room just doesn't feel the same without her sleeping in our bed watching our t.v ; }