Holiday Misconception

My friend Becky thought Parson Brown was a color.

Brrrrrd Feeder

Brrrrr....

Well, it looks like Christmas vacation started early for Wyatt.
He was home the last three days of last week and it doesn't look to promising for the rest of this week because of weather.

That's fine, gives me someone to watch my daytime stories with.

GET THIS!

I went to turn on the t.v today and NO t.v.

The lamp burned out.

The t.v was purchased a year ago TODAY.

ARRGGH.

Oh, by the way... a new lamp is twohundredfreakingdollars.

Whatever.

Mike worked a layover last night and I have cold pork in the yard.

Pearls heat lamp burned out---I see some sort of weird cosmic connection with burned out bulbs here--- last night but she has lots of straw in her house, so she's just chilled not froze.

She's not crazy about the snow, It makes her toes cold.

Imagine if you will a very small large pig tip-toeing through the snow...

Anyway, Mike will be home before her bedtime and have her boudoir nice and toasty tonight.

Today is my niece's TWENTY FIRST birthday!

Happy Birthday Fahren : ) 

XoxoxoX

Do you know that when I was twenty one I had already been married and divorced twice and had a five year old.

Good Lord.

Let It Snow!

Exciting Story...

It was a dark and stormy night. The wind was blowing through the trees like a toothless blind date at a bogo before the early bird special.

I could feel someone watching me as I moved slowly across the dew dampened yard. I had to step lightly so as not to leave a trail. My size nines left a heavy impression in the stiff white grass, but if I wasn't careful I might as well have been leaving a path of lucky charms for that little leprechaun. 

By leprechaun, I don't mean he was Irish, I mean he was short with bad hair and a funny hat.

What led up to this you ask? Well, let me tell you a story.

A story you won't soon forget. Oh, you'll want to forget it alright, who wouldn't? The question is more who couldn't and that, that my dear friend would be me.

I'm the one who couldn't forget. Not even if I wanted to.

Sit back and let me tell you how it happened.

It was a dark and stormy night. The wind was blowing like a gust from the north up your Aunt Bertha's skirt. Oh, it wasn't pretty. It wasn't pretty at all.

It was as though someone was watching my every move as I sprinted across the driveway being careful not to trip over the neighbor child's entrapment's left laying about.

I never did care for that red headed pest as he always left pastries and toys in my path.

It didn't seem to matter how many times I confronted his mother, she never showed more concern than a drunken Irish Betty, and it wasn't just because her name was Betty. It was because she was short with bad hair and was usually drunk.

This story is starting to leave me squeamish, and I don't know if it's wise to continue this tale, so as the sky grows dark and the wind picks up, I think that it's best if I go. 

I'm sensing that someone is watching...

No News

Ok, so when my Sister, the one who turned forty six yesterday said to me, "you know, I don't really care for the way the blog looks. It isn't really you."
I realized it had been quite some time since I've been here.
That and the few concerned readers checking in on me (thank you few concerned readers.)

So I decided to do some Christmas decorating and say "hi" today.

You see, what happens is, nothing happens, I have nothing to report and I end up not even checking in.
Just like right now the only exciting thing I have to report is that I haven't been reporting.

Wendy and I are still not speaking.
Things have been slow for Mike at work, so he's home ALL the time and as you all know, he sucks the concentration and creativity out of me (in a loving drive you crazy suck the concentration and creativity out of you sort of way)
Wyatt was home most of the week with a pooping problem constipation. What is it with kids and dogs and constipation at our house? Is Wyatt sneaking kibble or do the dogs raid the fridge?
We put the tree up and decorated the house.
One sister stepped closer to fifty and the other one is battling frozen tundra in Montana.
We have DVR'd every Christmas special known to man.
Did you catch the finale of Boston Legal? The B E S T.
We are gearing up for snow and "arctic" weather conditions tonight.
My Mom bought a new old armoire and sold a car.
I've been fighting reeeeeeealy bad headaces.

Thats it.
My life.
You haven't missed much.

I'll make up something for my next post.
I Promise.

Budget Cuts

Since things are pretty tight around the TrailerParks farm this time of year, we decided one way we could save some cash would be some DIY canine care.

Just a reminder, we have three shih-tzu's and a border collie.

We have a very nice groomer in town who has always done a delightful job with the boys, we just figured...how hard could it be.
All I can say is this...
There will be NO trips to town for Gizmo for at LEAST three months.
Not even dark glasses and a hat would improve his look.

If we had a heart, we would take him in for a do-over at the dog parlor, but I'm to ashamed and also fearful that we would be turned in to some sort of secret government dog agency.
I'm picturing a kennel in the basement of our local court house overrun with dogs with bad haircuts and gingivitis.
A kindly woman who smells like bologna telling all the misfit dogs it doesn't matter what they look like on the outside, it's who they are on the inside that counts.

So, the following is a Public Service Announcement.
Support your local dog groomer.