Bell, Judy and Pearl have apparently been sneaking off into the mobile spaces when we're not looking, so yesterday I had to go on a livestock reconnaissance mission.
Pearl was easy to retrieve because if there's food involved she comes running.
The only problem was, Pearl was obviously the brains of the operation because after she made her way to the right side of the fence,
I walked all the way up the pasture with my menagerie in tow which consisted of one black and white dog, two geriatric donkeys, three woolly ewes, one ginormous white cat and a lone black duck.
It took a while, but I found the weak spot in the dilapidated fence and the two Baaaa'd sheep made a run for the hay truck.
Little did they know I had big plans in store for them.
It was going to be a short trip to their new digs in the barnyard complete with secure fencing, a fat goat and some obnoxious geese for company.
That part of my plan went smoothly.
Getting Pearl resituated was going to prove to be my daily undoing.
You see Pearl doesn't like to cross water and parts of our upper pasture are more pond like than pasture like right now from all the heavy rains we've been having.
There I was in my barn boots and housecoat trying to persuade one very stubborn obese pig to cross water and follow me through the sopping wet sod, bribing her with marshmallows and sweet feed to no avail.
I was slipping and sliding around like a troop member from Fat Girls On Ice.
I knew that this was quickly turning into a recipe for disaster, envisioning myself going ass over end falling in a muddy heap and ending up in traction with my rotten back.
So I gave into the pig.
Pig one, Farmer zip.
That is until today when I brought in the big guns.
The smart farmer.
The fast farmer.
The pig whisperer.
Six didn't really whisper, but he did cuss and convinced Pearl to see things his way and she is now unhappily back in the barnyard.
We'll wait and see for how long.
LOVE your writing! LOVE!
ReplyDeleteI love your writing AND your ADVENTURES!!
ReplyDeleteand the pig, I love the pig too ;o)
I love that pig too, but I swear some days she almost gets the better of me!
DeleteHA HA HA--- where there is a way there is a will??? LOL Pearl !-- I have a really obnocious kitten-- she is soo cute bur goes on 2 freak outs a day-- flys like a squirrel over and under EVERYTHING in the house and puts "animals(mice) not real--in her water and drowns them== scratches her littler out of the box-- I have everything in the house coveres-- fireplace front(with cardboard) 3 throws on the couch-- blinds 1/2 up or she climbs them to look out -- squirting her with water bottle getting up on the table and counter -- keeping long jeans on as shes attacking!! Good Grief-- what was I thinking getting a kitten???????? Karen
ReplyDeleteMe too if I could skate!!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure the neighbors were getting a real charge out of watching me in my size huge X housecoat and boots sliding around out there :D
Oh my! LOL! Fat Girl on Ice!! Great visual! Everyday is an adventure out at The Farm!
ReplyDeleteOh, I've been there... :-)
ReplyDeleteCrazy what we do for love!
DeleteSounds like a normal day on the farm with animals! :-)
ReplyDeleteAnd quite honestly she looks very unhappy. If I were "Six" I'd sleep with one eye open. Remember, she's a wiley one...
ReplyDeleteI'm going to sleep with two eyes open because I don't want to miss that!
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