Major Meltdown

Did you think I left?
I can't believe how time can get away from me and then I stop and think about how I've been applying for all these jobs (I haven't even got ONE call back) and wonder how I figure I'd find time to work and take care of the farm.
There is so much that goes on around here, taking care of all the animals and doing what little maintenance I can do to keep things from falling apart when six is on the road (you should see my feeble attempts at fence mending) hauling hay, trying to fix throw out of the way and burn the brooding room door of the henhouse that blew off it's hinges in our last wind storm, hauling and packing pellets for the stove with my John McCain shoulder and then all the regular stupid inside stuff.
It seems like I'm always doing laundry and I try to put it all away at least once a month, and then the dishes and dusting and sweeping and mopping and bathrooms and it's all so dumb!

THEN....
I have the trailer park people to contend with.
I have Gladys Cravitz who thinks she's the queen of the park and has to call me whenever somebody sneezes and really goes bananas if somebody brings home a "sleepover" date and lets me know that there were people outside smoking at 3:00 am and how nervous that makes her, and that sometimes people cuss outside and she can hear it and she finds it very offensive and doesn't think she should be subject to that and that I need to make it a senior citizen park because she doesn't like kids and they have lived here fifteen years and there were never kids here before when my grampy was running things and he would have never let kids live here and how they sure miss my grampy.
I want to tell her that I miss my grampy too and then shove some xanex down her throat.
Then there's the red headed time bomb who has an explosive temper after two beers but I'm sure never drinks less than twelve and loves to call me names and tell me to get off his property every time he sees me.
He's a real jewel.
This weekend one of them cut down a tree and it landed on their roof and carport.
Gladys was on the phone to me before the first branch hit the roof.
She said it was one of the big trees. At least a forty footer.
Turns out it was a snaggy landscape tree and now I get a new carport built to replace the forty year old one that was there.
Works for me.
Does it sound like I'm whining?
Does it sound like I'm melting down?
I am.
And This is why.

I had to say goodbye to Josie yesterday.

When I woke up yesterday morning I didn't see her so as soon as I got Stephanie's (our houseguest) soap makings started I went out to check on everyone.
I got to the pasture and saw her laying down near the barn and with much relief threw out some hay.
She didn't get up.
I panicked and knew right away something was wrong.
She had been acting blue and moping around for the last few days.
I even talked to my sister in Montana about it and we decided that because of the weather and lack of excitement she was just bored and feeling down.
She perked up at meal time and always came to greet you at the gate, but she just hadn't had her Josie sparkle for a few days.

I went back to the house and called the vet right away and he was here within thirty minutes.
He examined her and told me she was in critical condition.
He said outwardly there was nothing wrong with her, it could be a colic, but he believed it was more just her old age.
Old age?
We didn't even think she was a teenager yet and he told me she was in her mid to late twenties.
My heart was breaking with every word he spoke and the tears came quickly as the decision was made I can't say the rest of these words.

We brought jack and Josie home from a dirt round pen four years ago in a U-Haul trailer and they have been the bright spot of my day every day since.
I will smile every time I think of her and remember those sweet brown eyes and her giant MeeeeeshMaaaaaw.

Please don't say anything nice to me because it will make me cry, just think a happy donkey thought to yourself and make a crack about my weight, my facial hair or my double chins.

Tomorrow I'm going to share with you my newly discovered invaluable household tip.

Peas.