Monday, March 8, 2010

Chic Day

We got our baby chics on Saturday!
So cute.

Here's the deal though...
If #6 was here I would have said, "Will you please go move the heat lamp and unload the six bags of feed from the truck and we'll go."
And then he would have moved the lamp , unloaded the truck and we would have gone.

Here's how it went instead.
I went down to the henhouse to move the heat lamp that was clipped to the ceiling beam on the hen side, to the brooding side where the chicks were going.
I had considered buying a new clamp lamp at Fred Meyer earlier that morning but decided I already had two and that was enough.
Idiot.
So, the lamp was clamped to the beam and then secured with a wood screw on either side.
I suppose 6 thought that maybe the hens might have a party that could possibly involve hens swinging from the "chandeliers" and didn't want to take any unnecessary risk.
I can't unclamp the lamp because ever since I had the second surgery on my right shoulder I've suffered from John McCaine syndrome which leaves me unable to raise my arm above my head.

*Note to self: Rule out career as carpenter, painter or porn star*

I call for Wyatt to bring me a milk crate to stand on to get a better angle on secured clamp, but worry about what 500 pounds could do to a flimsy plastic crate.
Decide to take my chances.
Stand on crate, reach the clamp lamp but not strong enough to unclamp over woodscrews.
Yell for Wyatt to bring criss crossy screwdriver.
Wait for Wyatt to pet the goats, throw a stick for the dog, shoot his bow and arrow, kick rocks, find screwdriver, throw stick two more times for the dog, shoot bow and arrow into the camellia tree, find a stick to poke at the camellia tree to get arrow back, forget that I need the screwdriver thats in his pocket until I start yelling at him while still standing on the milk crate while getting sick to my stomach because I'm afraid of heights.
Unscrew the woodscrews securing the clamp lamp and move it to the brooding room.
I know your wondering why I didn't just use the other lamp and here's the reason.
It had a bulb already screwed in that had broken so I couldn't get the metal screwy part out.

Now it's time to unload the six bags of feed from the truck.
Keep in mind I weigh five hundred pounds and have the John McCaine shoulder.
I start up the riding lawn mower and try to remember how to back up.
After some time remember that I just push my foot the opposite way of forward.
Drive down to the front pasture to get the wagon.
Struggle with trying to figure out how to hook up the wagon.
Wyatt gets in the wagon and we drive back up to the truck to load the feed to drive around to the feed room and the henhouse.
Wyatt gets on other side of feed bags in the truck and pushes while I try to pull, grab, duck and throw.
Repeatedly incorrectly load feed trying to figure out the last bag loaded, first bag unloaded system.
Wyatt steps in a hole that the dog dug in the yard and hyper extends his knee.
I get to rest and catch my breath while I comfort Wyatt and reassure him he will be ok because we don't have good insurance anymore and I can't afford to take him to the hospital.
Get back on the lawn mower and take off as the wagon pitches back and the pin goes flying into the bushes.
Gimpy and I look for the pin.
Find the pin, secure the wagon and reload all the feed to the front and have Gimpy sit on top so the weight holds the stupid wagon down.
Drive around to the feed room, unload four of the six bags eight times until the right bags have been unloaded and moved inside.
Ask Wyatt AKA Gimpy to limp over and open the gate and NOT let the dogs in the pasture.
Wyatt opens the gate and lets the dogs in the pasture.
Catch the border collie that won't listen because he's to busy herding the pig.
Unload the feed into the henhouse.
Have Wyatt open the gate to let me out and NOT let the dogs in pasture.
Wyatt opens the gate, lets the dog in the pasture, yells at the dog, I yell at Wyatt for yelling at the dog while the dog herds the pig.
Catch dog, carry dog out of pasture.
Wyatt gets back in the wagon because the pin flys out every time I go over a bump.
Wonder why anyone would have a stupid wagon when you can't even use it without the pin flying out.
Later find out I'm supposed to put a pin in the pin to hold it in.
Whatever.
I miss #6.

Anyway, we finally got everything ready and made it to the Chicken Farm and got our chicks!
Aren't they cute!


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