Little Dogs

The dogs are washed, the laundry is done and the house smells fresh.

I was telling Mike yesterday it's amazing how the house doesn't stink anymore since the poodles moved out. Is it possible for two "little dogs" to stink sooo much. Apparently so.

Speaking of the poodles, it's funny how I don't miss them, but how much I do miss Grampy. I was afraid there would be a connection between letting the dogs go to letting Grampy go, but alas, again, apparently not.

I know that the poodles are in a loving home and came into someone else's life the same way they came into Grampys. They are a comfort to someone in need, and Grampy would have wanted that.

Here's a question.

How do I begin sorting things out in Grampy's room?

I mean I understand the "sorting" part, this isn't my first rodeo. It's just hard to take that first step and touch the memories. Everything in this house is Grammy and Grampy, it's forty years of happy memories and love to me.

So where do I begin?

When Grammy passed last year, Julie was here to help, and we were on a mission to get us moved in the house to take care of Grampy. We could each touch something, shoot the other a look and know the sentiments. When we packed up the 547th pair of casual yet sensible shoes there was a connection to her that we both felt.

Here's the difference.

Grampy was still here which meant a part of Grammy was still here.

Now they are both gone.

Where is the touchstone?

Who will be here to hold the past for us now?

This sounds so dumb, but I feel like my past, my history is being held in Grampy's room and as soon as I open that door all the memories will fall away.

So, for today, I will keep the door closed.

I will not pack anything away, I will not box anything up.

I will keep it all safe for myself and the rest of the family (they may not even realize what a huge favor I'm doing them ;)

Someday we will all be grown up enough to take care of our own history, but for now, it's better kept with people we trust.