Lost Weekend

I think if I was a horse someone would have put me out of my misery by now.
My stupid frickin frackin achin back is making me crazy and I take SO much ibuprofen and tylenol that my stomach feels like it's going to pack up and split.
Oh well, no pain no gain.
Right?
And today is better than yesterday.
And tomorrow will be better than today because today I'm calling the doctor to find out if my back is just old and fat or if something needs to be fixed.
Regardless of what people may tell you, old and fat can't be fixed, but I do have it on good authority that they can fix ugly now (think Kate+8).
I know they can fix fat too, but really, who wants to work that hard and I know they can't fix old.

Even though I have a rotten back I had a fun weekend.
I had a lunch reunion with my bus buddies and learned that although I may miss my buddies, I don't miss the bus.
Valerie is driving a little bus (I got the grips just telling you that) and Spence had someone drive straight into the front of his bus on the first morning of school.
And that my friends is why I love washing dishes and serving pizza to little people.
Even when I have to go sub at a new school, I won't have to wash dishes in the dark or look for the pizza on the side of the road in the rain.
Valerie and Spence seem completely up to the challenge of the big yellow bus though as they recounted all of their stories through laughter and didn't have much to complain about, and I'm already looking forward to our next reunion.

Yesterday we had a Lost marathon because 6 has never seen even one episode of our favorite show.

Rewatching from the beginning is good because I see and get all kinds of things that I missed the first time through.
You know that show is such a trip anyway that even the second or probably the third time watching it there will still be parts that leave you shaking your head wondering what happened, but all in all I would have to say the second time is better then the first.
It'll take a long time to watch all the episodes, but really we're not very exciting people so that works for us.

A week or so ago there was an add on Craigslist for free finches and because I love birds and even more so anything free I replied to the add and they responded yesterday.

Six shook his head and gave me the stink eye as he map quested our way to wherever we went to retrieve our new feathered friends.
They are so cute and SO fun and since the people are moving they gave us their really cool cages too.
You have to keep the boy finches separate from the girl finches because they multiply like rabbits.
I put the girl finches in with canaries because they're both social birds and my canary cage is huge and the boys are hanging on the other side of the room so they can talk to each other.

I buy my gravy mix in the giant container at Costco.
I don't really like it though because it always turns out watery and thin.
Last night I made chicken fried steak with mashed potatoes, gravy and peas.
I read the directions on the back of the gravy container and learned that you're supposed to use three tablespoons of gravy mix not one.
Last night the gravy was really good.

Peas.

The Old & The Achy

When did the pod people sneak in and switch out my body with that of a ninety eleven year old woman...
My back hurts, my feet hurt, my elbows hurt and my hips hurt.
It feels like I should of done something I shouldn't have done, but all I did was wash dishes for little people.
I think when I was watching General Hospital and playing with llamas and donkeys and pigs I somehow got old and fat, because when I was filing fingernails I never hurt this bad.
Well, maybe I did, but if I did I don't remember and I also think when I was polishing fingernails I was thin and blond.
The thin part might not be quite right, but they're my memories so I can remember thin if I want and I know for a fact I was thinner than this and it's not that I even necessarily want to be thin again, but I don't want to be fat and achy and old either so I wonder what I should do.
Maybe I should be stretching and walking and eating fewer cookies but not no cookies.
I could do that.

Wyatt is loving school but hasn't made very many friends yet.
I hate worrying about that kind of stuff but I do.
So far he is really into his school work though so maybe I'll just try to enjoy that and worry about the social networking part later.
You know if he was in sports or whatever else kids are into he wouldn't have such a hard time making friends, but being new to this district and being so artsy craftsy makes it hard and I don't want him to be teased.
Maybe we should have let him stay at the other school, but that was such a bad deal but maybe it's better to teach your kids to work through the hard times but that school REALLY sucked bad but in my dads day when you had to walk to school up hill both ways in the snow all year your parents never switched schools because the other kids were little a holes.
You would have stayed and learned to fight and stand up for yourself.
Gawd, I'm a horrible parent.
Great.
Now I'm a horrible parent and old and fat and achy too.
Whatever, I'll have a snickerdoole and some Tylenol with me next cup of coffee that I load up with cream and sugar and buy Wyatt something nice after school today.
That's how we roll here on the farm ❤

Peas.

Back to School Blues... Kinda

Wyatt's back in school.
I wish summer vacation could last forever.
I know, that's easy to say when you just have one kid and that kid is as easily entertained and occupied as Wyatt.
I'll miss his crazy voices and impersonations and is amazing artistic creations.
But enough about Wyatt.

I'M A SUBSTITUTE LUNCH LADY

Can you believe it!

Today is my second day on the job and I think I was born to wash dishes and count chicken nuggets for primary sized people.
I can't think of a better way to spend three hours of my mid-day than seeing eyeballs and knuckles as they pass their tray saying "thank you lunch lady".
Seriously.

Um do you know what else I got?

A brand new to me 1997 Ford Escort!
Courtesy of the Bank of Mom with interest free financing I was able to purchase this low mile beauty!

It is the perfect car.

Low miles, immaculate interior with ROLL up windows and a bitchin AM-FM factory equipped stereo.

30 MPG on the back roads and 35+ on the highway.

A substitute lunch lady's dream.

Ok, I don't have all day any more, I have a job to do.

Somewhere there are dishes to be washed and trays to be passed.

Peas.

Baby News & Other Stuff!

Yesterday was doctor day with Wendy and as you may remember I promised a prediction of grandbaby girl or grandbaby boy.
Every part of her exam went really well and things are all wonderful at fifteen weeks.
Then came heart listening time.

booomboomboomboomboomboomboomboom
Boy.

If it had gone wooshawooshawooshawooshawoosha I would have known right away it was a girl.

But then, the doctor said 160 beats per minute which the medical assistant lady said was on the high side and she called girl.

Whatever, I stand by boy.

Wendy looks very cute and very pregnant is is really excited.
I'm taking Wyatt to her apartment complex to swim today.
Douchebag has cellulitis which is very serious and if you Google it enough you can find information saying that you might even die from it.
Of course I hope that doesn't happen.

A few years ago I hung plates in my kitchen for decoration.

See them up there...
But since I'm getting ready to paint the kitchen I took all the plates down and then I decided I'm tired of the dishes that I've been using for the last bazillion years so I packed up my old set and filled the cupboards with the white ones which is really cool because they are ALL different patterns.
Salad plates and dinner plates.
No bowls.
So, I went to Goodwill yesterday and bought really good deep heavy COLORFUL bowls to go with the white plates.
How much do you love that!
I love it a lot.
And after I paint I'm hanging my Desert Rose plates.

I love that too.

Do you know what else I got yesterday?
This...

Rocky the english angora rabbit!!!!

I have been waiting patiently until he was old enough to come home with me and I didn't want to say anything to jinx it.

I am SO excited!!

That's why we are making the drop spindle, so I can spin his ANGORA fiber.

Here's some pictures of his relatives at the Clackamas Couty Fair this year.

Are you kidding me!

Could you just die looking at those guys!

OMG.

Ok, I have one last bit of news to share.

Remember last year when I wanted to be a bus driver and got a bus driver job and then got my CDL and went to bus driver school and then started driving bus and then started having panic attacks and had to quit being a bus driver and was so freaked out for the next three months that I couldn't even pass a short bus on the road without having palpitations?

Remember that?

Yeah me too.

Anyway, I was just hired for my second all time dream job and I start Monday.

School Lunch Lady!

I can't even believe how lucky I am.

All I have to do is find some sensible lunch lady shoes and a hair net and I'm good to go.

Actually I don't have to wear a hair net.

It's the 21st century, you just have to pull your hair back now.

Can you even believe it?

I really in truly am the luckiest middle aged albeit very young looking woman  girl in the world.

Ok, that's all.

Peas.

Baby Doctor Day

No blog today because I'm going to the doctor with Wendy this morning, but tomorrow I will have a prediction on rather I will be having and grandbaby girl or a grandbaby boy after hearing the heart beat this morning.
Tomorrows blog will also hold more news and surprises so that's all for today, but be sure and tune in tomorrow for the continuing saga of (cue music) Granny Fat Bottoms fun and adventures on the farm!

Peas.

Doctors & Douchebags

I didn't paint yesterday and I'm not going to paint today either.
There is a heat advisory for today so I guess I have to wait until tomorrow to paint which is ok because then me painting turns into Six painting and other than a little bitterness and resentment on his part there is really nothing wrong with that scenario.

I made soap this morning.
I haven't made soap in so long that we actually ran out of soap.
Well, that is until I went upstairs to get my soap making stuff and found four bars that I didn't know I had and of course the nettle soap that I still have for sale.
It really surprises me that I have any nettle soap left at all, I thought that was going to blow the doors off my Etsy shop because it is such incredible soap.
It helps eczema, psoriasis, acne and poison ivy.
It's a wonder bar.

I guess people are freaked out about the stinging nettle part, but that's dumb because it doesn't sting after it's dried.
Well, I guess it's not dumb, if you don't know you don't know.

I'm going with Wendy to her doctors appointment tomorrow.
I'm excited and a little scared because once I go to the doctor with her and hear the babies heart beat it's all over for me and then if that douchebag boyfriend of hers does anything to come between me and that baby or if I find out that he hurts the mother of that baby of mine I will be blogging from a jail cell.
I have made some very bad decisions in my life (six husbands) so I understand that I cannot tell her what to do, I can only stand back and love her and help pick up pieces when called upon to do so, but that doesn't mean the seek and destroy instinct doesn't still run strong when it comes to a P.O.S man who f*#!$ with my family.

I'm crocheting baby balls.
I'll show you when I finish the first one.
It's a Fat Bottom original design, I don't think anyone else makes baby balls.

Here's a hat I made.

Cute huh?

Because of their love of the outdoors and outdoor sports (killing stuff) I designed a pee pee tee pee in camouflage.

I think they'll really like it.

That's all I have for today.

Peas.

New Pig Digs

Wow, you know I love a good three day weekend, but when school hasn't started yet (not until next Monday) and Six is working wonky days and times it's really kind of hard to tell a long three day weekend from any other three days of the week.
We didn't do anything special or labor dayish other than barbecuing steaks and, well I guess that's all.

We got stuff to make a drop spindle so I can start to spin some of this mangy fleece I have around here.
I can't get a good fleece off the llamas or sheep until next spring so that gives me plenty of time to practice.
In case you don't know what a drop spindle is let me show you.

I love this one.

It's a top whorl drop spindle and it's kind of like the one we're making.

I'm going to have Wyatt fancy mine up for me since he's artistically inclined.

I'll show it to you when we're done.

We got Pearl a new pig house since the fluffy butt geese have taken over her place.

Have I told you that I love love love Craigslist.

We found this fabulous custom made cedar house for FREE.

Thank you Julie in Beavercreek for having a stupid unemployed won't get a job good for nothing ex husband who built such a kick ass dog house. 

I love that you can't stand the sight of the worthless bums handy work enough that you would give it away!

Pearl is going to LOVE it.

I'm painting the kitchen today.

Peas.