Sears, Swimsuits, Skates and Soap

I got my FOURTH swim suit in the mail.

The top squashed me and the bottom hung off my butt like a wet diaper.

Gross.

But, I figured out that you can return Lands End at Sears, so I made a trip to the mall and have already ordered suit number FIVE.

This time I am going with a full on swim legging and a tankini from Swimsuits for All that has great reviews and will better "suit" me and I was able to order separate sizes for my freakishly large top and my extra flat and flabby south end.

We'll see how it goes.

Speaking of Sears, have you been lately?

You know, "Where America Shops For Value"...

Well, let me just tell you, America has ditched Sears and comfortably settled in at Walmart 

"Where America Shops For Cheap Shit Made In China".

Going into Sears now is like entering some post apocalyptic time warp.

It's no longer the mesmerizing bustling, brightly lit place that held everything new and shiny with the enticing smell of new tires, polyester and roasting peanuts.

Now it just smells.

Like sadness.

And Chapter 11.

Do you remember the Wish Book?

Do you remember how exciting it was the day it arrived and how you were glued to it for the rest of the month an no matter who's house you went to, everyone had "The Book" and the pages would be dog eared and ripped out, and folded over and the really good stuff would be circled with red marker and every single thing on every single page would be discussed at length with your friends while you laid on the floor comparing who already had what and how it rated and who needed what to keep up with the ones that already had what everyone else wanted?

My weakness was always roller skates and Barbies.

I started out with these and skated in the garage and on the street with the neighbor kids.

Then we moved to an Island in the middle of no where into a tent so my mother could "find herself" but luckily there was still catalog service, so I got these super cool "skate shoes" and we skated at the new fair building in town on weekends.

blue and green upper right

Shortly after my mom "found herself" came the divorce.
My father moved away and decided the best way to establish a sense of security was to buy me stuff (and let me eat sugar cereal), so I was quickly upgraded to these beauty's...

All leather uppers, with sure grip interchangeable indoor/outdoor wheels so I could skate at the park or at the rink on weekends in the city with my dad.

And every Saturday we would go to Sears and I would look at all the skates and skate accessories while my dad looked at lawn mowers, tools and tires.

Sorry, I got a little lost in roller skate nostalgia.

Maybe more than a little since now I can smell the smell of a new set of wheels and hear Hells Bells playing in my head with images of strobe lights at midnight during reverse skate...

What was I saying...?

Something about swim suits and Sears.

Oh well, that's all I have to say about that.

Let's talk about this...

I've lost 18 pounds!

Since I'm not baking, I'm making soap.

This is oatmeal and honey made with finely ground whole grain oats and local organic blackberry honey, poured in a wooden two pound mold so the bars are huge, almost six ounces each and they smell, delicious.

Like breakfast.

Or cookies.

Mostly cookies.

Ok, I'm done.

Blahging About Blogging

My very best blog friend 4 Shoes is back to blogging!
You really have no idea how happy this makes me, she has inspired me to blog again and now I want her to blog every single day!
It seems as though most of my circle of blogs fell out of the loop somewhere along the line and moved to the ever expanding, thought sharing, junk food shaming, over memeing, totally addicting, soul sucking Facebook.
There I have watched children grow, marriages come and go, holidays celebrated and meals prepared.
It is so satisfying and such a quick fix, but here's the problem, I have no reference on my life.
I don't post about the happenings of my day or the funny or horrible or horribly funny things that happen and even more often don't happen in my own life.

When I started this blog it was The Trailerparks Farm.

It was a place for me to post every day about what was happening within my family and for my family as I cared for our aging grandparents, but it quickly turned into a thing that I loved to do and I found a community that made me laugh and sometimes even cry as they shared their lives with me and the rest of the world.
And so, I blogged.
And blogged.
And blogged.
And blogged.
And then, I stopped.
And now I have no reference to the things that have gone on in my life, except for what sticks to the sticky part of my brain and the BIG stuff that I would remember anyway.

I want to get back to my blogging basics and start posting all the boring stuff.
Pictures of cats, crappy arts and crafts and I want to talk way too much about the kid that calls me "Tranny" because he can't pronounce a hard "G".

And I suppose if I talk too much about that stuff, you could just click out and go find something interesting on Youtube or call your mom or something.

And I guess if you're one of the thirtytwoeleventeen people that end up here because you think I'm the Dirty Jobs Fat Bottom Farm (I'm not) you will figure it out and keep looking for them on Google
(They're not there) and just for the record, our farm is NOT named after their farm, we were fat before they were on T.V and our fat bottoms are donkeys not goats.
Jack asses, fat donkeys, fat asses, can't say fat ass on the internet, fat bottoms, Fat Bottom Farm.
Donkeys.
And I do make soap, but I do not make goats milk soap because I do not have goats.
I have donkeys.

And a pig.

And sheep.

And dogs and geese and chickens and some cats.

None of which would make very good "milk" soaps so I stick with the basic home made, cold process milk free soaps that you can buy here at the Fat Bottom Etsy.

So, what all of this has been about, is, I'm going to try to get back to some basic blogging, and if most of my other blogging friends are gone, I hope to make a lot of new blogging friends who like to talk about a lot of boring stuff and look at pictures of cats and kids and crochet projects, and cake, and soap and failed craft projects that would have been better off just left looked at on Pinterest.

Sound good?
Good!

Peas.

Lambs!

We're lambing!
Belle was first to go and had twins, Juanita and Hermano...

Wendy and Juanita

Then Jesse with a little ram lamb, Juan Pablo (The Bachelor)
She surprised me with a baby in the bushes, but they're both safe and sound in the barn now.

I have three more ewes I'm watching so that means endless trips to the barn all the while crossing my fingers and hoping for more twins.
The barn is to far in decline to lamb again next year, so I'm banding all the little rams.
I'll pick up some used sheep now and again just because I have so much pasture I need to keep down and don't tell me to get goats because I've had goats or should I say goats have had me...
No more goats.

I'm busy building up my soap supply again and have one batch ready and more on the shelf.
If you have a special request let me know, handmade soap is a great house warming, bridal shower and even baby shower gift.
There is nothing better than gentle handmade soap for little ones with sensitive skin.
Also, if you make your own laundry soap my plain and scented bars work wonders in the wash!

Today I'll be listing some Farmers Market.
The scent is light with bibb lettuce, basil and rosemary and no added color.

On the rack is Farm Flowers.
Scented with lilac, honeysuckle, sweet pea and lavender, it smells just like a fresh cut bouquet!
And...
Oregon Blackberry.
Smells like a bowl full of ripe berries with a pinch of crushed blackberry leaf sprinkled in on top.

Next on the list is some mango peach, I can't wait for that one!!

How about some candles...?

Peas.

Natural Wonders

It's time to pick some weeds amazing plants!
So far I've found, growing in the pasture and around the barn, chamomile, applemint, nettle, foxglove and of course, the ever consuming, creeping wild blackberries.
It's amazing to me me, how as soon as I started looking around and paying attention to what was growing under my nose, I discovered a plethora of of goodness as opposed to what I had always considered a plethora of a huge pain in the as... Well you know.
Don't misunderstand, I think it can all still overtake me, but it's more comforting to know that the farm may slowly become overrun by herbal wonder disguised as evil green weediness.

Foxglove

Foxglove was typically used as a heart remedy and can be highly toxic, so I won't be using any of it, but it is beautiful isn't it...

Chamomile

I have chamomile growing out of my ears.

I'll pick the flowers as they bloom and dry them between layers of cheesecloth to be used later in teas for insomnia and headaches, in bathwater to relieve minor aches and of course in my homemade soaps.

After the last blooms I'll pick the leaves as well and cut the plant back for next year.

Nettles

If you have been a follower of the blog for long you know my ongoing battle with nettles...

They are overtaking the barn and sheds and it doesn't matter how many I cut back they come back two-fold.

Maybe I need to get into the nettle farming business and get rich on the stinging weed!

Nettles are used in teas, salads, stews and just about anything you would use a green in.

I'll dry the leaves and use them for tea and in my soaps.

In soap, nettle works for soothing eczema and psoriasis and helps with acne.

In tea it helps with arthritic pain and joint swelling.

Apple Mint

So...

I have this growing everywhere and had no idea what it was until one of YOU told me that it was apple mint!

Let me start by saying this... Apple mint smells amazing.

I walk outside on a warm day and the smell of the chamomile and apple mint is almost overwhelming.

I will cut and dry most of the mint, but I will also use some of it fresh in teas and salads.

Dried I will use it for tea as well but also, of course, in my soaps.

Blackberries

And finally, the Queen of all things, the blackberries.

They are everywhere.

I have tried goats, llamas, sheep and donkeys.

In the war on blackberries there is only one winner. 

The blackberries.

Of course an excavator and some Round-Up would would do the trick, I just don't happen have an excavator at my disposal and well we all know how we all feel about the Round-Up people.

So, I will become one with the blackberry and throw myself into the cobblers, jams, scones and soaps that the blackberry provides.

The following is taken from Alternative Nature Online Herbal

"Delicious Blackberries are edible raw or made into jelly or jam. The root-bark and the leaves are astringent, depurative, diuretic, tonic and vulnerary. They make an excellent alternative medicine for dysentery, diarrhea, hemorrhoids, and cystitis.

The most astringent part is the root. Orally, they are used to treat sore throats, mouth ulcers and gum inflammations. A decoction of the leaves is useful as a gargle in treating thrush and also makes a good general mouthwash. The presence of large amounts of tannins that give blackberry roots and leaves an astringent effect useful for treating diarrhea are also helpful for soothing sore throats. A medicinal syrup is also made from Blackberry, using the fruit and root bark in honey for a cough remedy."

I don't think I'll be using blackberries for hemorrhoids, but I will be making some AMAZING soap with the leaves.

That concludes the weed walk around the farm.

Now to go out and get it and put it to use!

Peas.

*Sorry for the wonk of todays post, I'm not sure what went wrong with the formatting

Stinging Nettle Soap

I know I've been talking about getting this soap made for weeks, but I finally got it done yesterday.
Here it is, stinging nettle soap.

You can read about the healing properties of stinging nettles here, and here but the quick word is that nettle is very beneficial when it comes to matters of the skin.
It also has amazing effects on your insides, but don't eat the soap.

I took a few pictures of my lavender and simple soap too.

The simple soap is just that.
Simple.
No dye, no fragrence, no nothing, just plain old simple soap perfect for babies and sensitive skin.
If you suffer with allergies, psoriasis or eczema the simple soap also makes the perfect base for laundry soap.
The lavender soap is a very lightly scented lavender.
You know how they say "if a little is good, more is better"?
Well, that's not the case with lavender.
With lavender, if a little is good, less is better and this soap has just enough to let you know that it's there without screaming lavender out loud.
Most soapers sprinkle their lavender buds on top of the soap for a pretty finishing touch.
Not me, I toss the buds right in so they can work as an exfoliator too.
Pretty with a purpose.

Ok, that's all I have for today.

Wendy is coming over to do laundry later so I'll make some cookies and we'll watch some reality T.V.

I am SO glad Kirstie stayed another week on DWTS, but I'm pretty sure next week will be her last.

I have January the little girl with schizophrenia DVR'd and the One Ton Mom too so it should be a good line up of warm cookie T.V.

Last week I posted a picture of Wyatt walking to the bus with his entourage of sheep so today I'll leave you with this.

A boy and his mule.

Peas.