One of my favorite short cut trailer park Sunday snacks has got to be monkey bread. Do you know what monkey bread is? It's not bread made with monkey parts and I think it's just called monkey bread because you can pull it apart. Like a monkey. I've made monkey bread off and on for years, but my favorite monkey bread memory is when I used to get the bread dough from the Schwanny Man who would come through the park I lived in every Wednesday evening.
Wyatt (who was four or five at the time) had a big window in his room that opened onto the driveway so when Doug the Schwanny Man would come through he would stop and we would all run to the window and Wyatt would usually get an ice cream and I would get whatever overpriced frozen goods I needed for the week.
After a month or so of Doug being on our route, he got to know the ice cream we liked, my favorite frozen snacks, pizzas, burritos, etc, and of course the frozen white bread dough that I would get every other time or so. As time went on Doug had become curious what I did with all the bread I was making from the frozen bread dough and so I told him I didn't make just any bread, I made monkey bread. He had no idea what I was talking about. Doug, The Schwanny Man, peddler of frozen goods, didn't know what monkey bread was. So, since Doug was not only handsome, but also well connected in convenient and quick to prepare food circles, I decided to make my move. I invited The Schwanny Man over for monkey bread on Sunday morning and not only did he take the bait, he ran with the line, and my fishing pun is intentional because he said that he would come over after fishing the river early Sunday morning. I seriously thought I had scored a winner at this point, he was so manly, a fisherman, (Which is another story for another day...) handsome, employed and was interested my monkey bread.
Sunday rolled around and I was ready. I had balled up, dipped, sugared and baked a perfect batch of bread, the trailer was clean, the coffee was fresh and Wyatt was being quiet watching the Power Puff Girls in the back bedroom. In other words, my man trap was set, all I needed was the man, and as if on que, he rolled in the park ready for romance.
He smelled of the river and his feet were wet, so he sat back in my big comfortable chair, rolled up his pants, unlaced his boots, took off his wet socks and pulled the recline bar. I brought him a hot cup of coffee just the way he asked for it and handed him the remote. It was really like a dream, here was this handsome man, with a job, sitting in my living room, drinking my coffee, eating my monkey bread, reclined in my chair and watching football. I was in heaven. I was already planning a future with him in my mind, thinking what an amazing reception we could have with the amazing discount we would have on frozen finger foods, and I couldn't wait to tell the girls at work on Monday, because as EVERYBODY knows, there's nothing better than a story about a new love at the nail shop, and the best part about it is you get to tell it over and over all day long.
Doug stayed for an hour or so and then said he had to be going because he had a busy day ahead, but asked he asked if it would be ok if he came over again the next Sunday. I didn't even have to think about it, I responded with a resounding YES, and told him I would have more monkey bread and fresh coffee ready.
The week drug out forever, but we did get a break when we got to see him on his regular drive through on Wednesday. He passed an extra half gallon of cherry ice cream, my favorite, through the window for half price and I think maybe even a free box of damaged ice cream sandwiches for Howie. My heart raced every time our eyes met and my hands were sweaty and shaky.
As he got in his big yellow truck to drive away, he leaned out, winked, and told me he'd see me Sunday
It was either Thursday or Friday, I can't quite remember now, when Jill came in for her after five appointment. All after five appointments included a few pulls from the box of wine we kept chilled in the back and were highly coveted and reserved for only the top tier clients.
It was Jill who would break my heart that early spring evening, when she told me, that Doug, The Schwanny Man, potentially my #6, the love of my life, was married to one of her best friends.
Are you kidding me?
Doug showed up after fishing on Sunday morning for more of my monkey bread and fresh coffee and I told him to fuck off.
It wasn't long after that we had a new Schwanny Man, but I never learned his name. I started shopping the frozen food aisle at the grocery store and actually ended up saving quite a bit.
Monkey Bread
Ingredients
- 1/2
- cup granulated sugar
- 1
- teaspoon cinnamon
- 2
- cans (16.3 oz each) Pillsbury™ Grands!™ Flaky Layers refrigerated biscuits
- 1/2
- cup chopped walnuts, if desired
- 1/2
- cup raisins, if desired
- 1
- cup firmly packed brown sugar
- 3/4
- cup butter or margarine, melted
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