Captain Underpants is here today and I don't have anything planned. I think I'll take him grocery shopping with me which is probably a big mistake or leave him here with Wyatt which sounds like a really good idea.
I'll bribe Wyatt with a pizza.
Last time I went shopping it was just to pick up a few things, hamburger, cauliflower, bread and a head of lettuce. While I was getting the hamburger, my eye was drawn to the "Buy 1 Get TWO Free" sign and then there was this big display of pre-seasoned beef, chicken and pork, which as we all know is done to hide the oldness and funny smell, but I was going into this with my eyes open and prepared to take my selection directly home and into the freezer and tossed two chicken quarters and a twin pack of overly seasoned steak into my basket and headed for the register. Ok, so were, you paying attention up there? Cauliflower, bread, a head of lettuce and now a buy one get two deal.
Forty four dollars and ninety five cents. Did you hear that? Forty four dollars and ninety five cents, that's $44.95. Are you kidding me? WTF? And that's what I said too because the last time I was in that store (Safeway) I bought mostly produce and was thinking about how high my total was on the way home and re-weighed all my items, and almost EVERY ONE WAS OFF! They had over weighted almost every item and I called the store out of my mind because how was I supposed to prove that! Well, they (Safeway) said they may have owed me five dollars and they would leave a gift card for me at the desk, but back to todays story... So the steal deal with the meat was, in tiny print, they all had to be the same, ie, three porks, three chickens, etc... I told her to forget it but then she couldn't do the refund for whatever reason, and I had to go to another line and have another girl, the lead checker do the refund and she refunded me twenty four dollars and something cents and I said thanks and apologized for not reading the sign and left and then as I was driving home, I was thinking to myself, forty something minus twenty something still leaves twenty something and all I have is cauliflower, a loaf of bread and a head of lettuce because I got the buy one get two and then didn't get that so I had no meat, not even the hamburger that I was originally going to buy, and how the eff does cauliflower, a loaf of bread and a head of lettuce cost twenty something dollars! That's when my eyes started bleeding. As soon as I got home I called the store (Safeway) and asked for the girl who refunded me nine minutes before and she wasn't quite sure who I was or what the return was or what I was talking about or eff squat about anything, because my best guess would be something that I shouldn't share with you. She said the accountant would have to call me back and did I have my receipt showing what I bought and I said NO YOU KEPT IT. The accountant returned my call quickly though and through my store (Safeway) card they were able to bring up my transaction and it turns out there was indeed a ten dollar discretion and now I have fifteen dollars in gift cards waiting for me at the store (Safeway) that I will use on gas because I'm never shopping there again.
Mrs. Shoes asked for an update on the hoe yesterday.
I wheeled into the park the same day of the store (Safeway) incident and no one was home, but the hoe was still there along with the front and back of a rusted out car and all it's guts. After I talked to the girl at the store (Safeway) I figured I was on a roll so I might as well just keep rolling and sent a text about the hoe and the "car" to the people in Lot #1 and said I hadn't realized they were starting a Sanford and Son operation and if I had, I would have offered them a respectable starter kit consisting of five or six boxes with as much junk as they could possibly fit in them from the barn. Luckily it went over well, because you know what they say, you can't hear tone in a text which at that time worked out best for both of us.
The hoe should be gone today or tomorrow.
Stay Classy
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