Morning Fiasco

I was afraid I wasn't going to have anything to blog about today.

I got up early, read my favorite other peoples blogs, fed the fish and made a fresh pot of coffee.

I went outside on the deck to enjoy the the early morning quiet and watch the sun come up through the clouds over the trees.

That's when it happened.

Everything was quiet.

I was speaking softly to the dogs so as not to wake the chickens, ducks or donkeys.

I heard a soft and muffled bleet of the goats.

I thought to myself how sweet it was to hear them calling to the warm morning sun.

I heard it again.

Closer this time.

I dismissed it as I had before, they were just enjoying the morning.

I heard it again.

It sounded as though they were right next to me.

It couldn't be I told myself.

These were non escaping goats.

"They" said these goats would not jump fences.

They were in the backyard right under the deck.

I called to them.

Norm..... Corki.....

They started bleeting louder excited to know that I was out enjoying the morning with them.

They ran right to the stairs and Bart the Wonder Dog ran down to greet them.

We were all together and everyone was happy.

Everyone except me.

You see, we have had goats before.

They were free used goats (I soon found out why) who every time you would put them inside a fence they would jump outside the fence.

Mike and I chased the goats until we learned you can chase goats all day with no success, but goats will follow you wherever you go.

For those two goats, we double fenced, cross fenced, Australian fenced, hot wire fenced, high fenced and low fenced.

To no avail.

The goats would get out.

At first it was cute, almost funny.

In the end, picture me sitting in the rain, in the yard, on the ground, crying with two of the best known escape artists the likes of this town had ever seen eating oats out of a Folgers can waiting for Mike to get home to build a twelve foot razor wire fence to keep the goats in.

I put those two goats on Craigslist for free, without mention of their fence leaping abilities and a very nice goat woman showed up the next day to deliver them to their next conquest.

We have thought long and hard , even gone so far as to pinky swear to each other that we would never have goats again.

Whatever, back to the story.

The goats were out.

How I don't know and right now it doesn't matter.

They had made short business of my anniversary wisteria, but other than that, the damage report was minimal.

I picked up the nearest coffee can and got the sweet feed from the garage beside the cadillac

(doesn't everyone keep the sweet feed in the garage next to the cadillac?)

They were intrigued.

I called to them as they happily followed me back through the gate and into the field.

~Because I want you to get the whole scope of this fiasco I need to throw in the fact that I am still in my nightgown, wearing my pink rag of a robe and my yellow rubber barn shoes~

Once we got through the gate and I exhaled over the ease of my mission, I turned to close the gate.

A bolt of brown flashed before my eyes and the goats were on the wrong side of the gate again.

Back to the garage for more sweet stuff in a can.

They were bleeting beside me wondering what the hold-up was on the refill.

Back to the field we go.

Through the gate.

Farther into the field.

Drop the goods.

Turn to run as my thighs are now chafing from the sweat that I've acquired and my lack of pants.

Again, the brown flash of goats hurdling their way through the gate before me.

I had to get a handle on the situation.

Wake up Wendy.

The goats, Bart the Wonder dog and I went to the little house to get her up.

She was sound asleep after working the late shift last night, so it was understandable her surprise when she woke to the sight of two goats, a dog and her Mother crying in her room.

I pleaded with her to help me, but she just kept using her angry tone to get us all off her bed.

Obviously she didn't understand the urgency our predicament.

Once we got her out of the bed and into the fresh morning air she was more willing to assist with the small task of closing the gate with me, the goats and the dog all safely on the other side.

It's been an hour now, so far, so good.